At a BILLION BILLION Watts!

Sketch Dump

2007-02-22T09:23:00.000-06:00

I've been whiz-bangin facebook lately so no posts. Here's some stuff I drew last night while watching "Spaced Invaders." (classic) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100666/

This is my default doodle man who wears his banana hammock with pride. I guess the story on this is he went on a bender and fell out of a plane? I'm not sure. I think I've been looking at too much Renaissance art lately for school.

Not exactly sure about this. They strike me as being Gooooms so that's what i'll call them.

This is my good print from the ole woodblocks. I don't think I ever actually posted this picture. It's old now.

These two are for voting on Turtle VS. Bunny (A Joe Dunn Venture)
http://www.digitalpimponline.com/tvb/?id=1

You send in drawings of your favourite character to vote on who wins. I'm with Turtle.

It says Chris 06 instead of 07 because I'm high on drugs apparently & I can't remember what year it is. I guess it could also be from all the time travelling. . .

And I can't help making a VS. picture. I like making little VS pictures.

That's all for now.
Rock on dudes!

Advertising

2006-12-07T17:59:00.000-06:00

A couple posters for the upcoming show at the Lion.

Don't be Square!

Some things to do for Fun.

2006-12-04T12:48:00.000-06:00

I'm bored. So I looked for things to do so as to not be bored. Some of these actually look pretty fun.

Enjoy!

Fun
1. Pretend you've never met, then loudly try out lame pickup lines in a swanky bar. Act like they worked.
2. Go on a walking journey and every fifteen feet draw a chalk arrow in the direction you're going. At the end of the trip, leave a big pile of chalk.
3. Create photo evidence suggesting that you went on an adventure that didn't really happen
4. Go for a drive. You can only make right-hand turns. When you finally get stuck, turn around and then you can only make left-hand turns. Repeat until you find something interesting. Take pictures along the way!
5. Build forts out of furniture and blankets, and wage war with paper airplanes.
6. Go to a major chain bookstore, and leave notes to future readers in copies of your favorite books
7. Write a piece of fiction together. Outside at a cafe. Ask strangers when you get stuck.
8. Try and visit as many people as you can in one night, and turn as many things inside their apartment upside down as you can, without them noticing.
9. Do the lamest tourist thing in your area that you have both secretly wanted to do forever. Have an unabashed good time!
10. Hide and seek in the park
11. Go around the city with sidewalk chalk and draw hearts with equations inside on random things
12. Drive somewhere unknown and have dinner in a city you've never been to. With fake names.
13. Go for a drive with the passenger blindfolded, choosing directions at random. see where you end up
14. Dress up as pirates, commandeer shopping carts, and have a war upon the high seas.. er, parking lot.
15. Go on a search for as many good climbing trees as possible, climb as high as you both can in all of them, compile photo evidence
16. Rent a movie you've never seen before. Set on mute and improvise dialogue.
17. Dress up as pirates and go parrot shopping at local pet stores
18. Go to the airport, get the cheapest, soonest departing flight to anywhere when you show up, and stay there for a weekend.
19. Walk around a city and perform short silent plays in front of security cameras
20. In the middle of the night, drive to the beach, so you arrive just as the sun is rising. Have a breakfast picnic, then fall asleep together. Bring a sun umbrella.
Become a ham radio operator
Bike ride down the steepest hill you can find
Bodysurfing
Build a raft like Tom Sawyer and float down the river
Build or fly an ultra light
Canoe at dawn
Canoeing downhill (must be attempted on snow before attempting on dirt, and even then dirt is not really recommended)
Complete a fire walk
Dune buggy riding
Feel the wind with a naked bungee jump
Fencing (the sport, not the act of building one)
Fly a kite attached to your bike
Get a tattoo
Give someone a piggyback ride or vice versa
Go bushwhacking while blindfolded through the forest with a pal. Make sure you don't bushwhack your pal
Go four-wheel driving
Go hang gliding
Go to a nude beach
Go to your local scuba diving shop and learn how to dive, go for a dive in the first water you can find
Heli-hiking, Heli-skiing, Heli-anything
Hot-air balloon ride
Ice Climbing
Kayaking
Land luge
Learn how to use a compass then go and use your skills
Make a boat and see if it floats with you in it
Mountain biking
Paintball
Paragliding
Play Frisbee at night
Play underwater hockey
Practice stilt walking
Quit your job because it sucks
Ride a horse bareback
Ride a horse on the beach
Ride a tandem bike
Rock climbing
Rock skiing (that's downhill skiing without snow)
Sandboarding (snowboarding on sand)
Sea kayaking
Ski/golf/sail all in one day
Skydiving
Try to break a world record
Unicycle
Whitewater canoeing
Whitewater rafting
"Paint" a snowman using Windex bottles filled with water colored with food coloring.
Bobsledding
Build a skating rink
Build an igloo
Build snow furniture
Catch a snowflake with your tongue
Cross country ski to work during the next big snowstorm
Curling (don't knock it till you try it)
Dog sledding
Go for a sleigh ride
Go Ice camping
Go tobogganing
Have a barbecue in the middle of a snowstorm
Have a fire and roast marshmallows
Have a winter hoedown
Hold a tops Olympics(you know like those spinning top things) but do it on ice
Ice blocking (slide down a hill sitting on a block of ice)
Ice-skate on a lake
If you're going to wear a toque, might as well be a toque with ears (not earflaps... ears!)
Join in a polar bear swim
Lie on your back in a snowy field
Make a snow fort
Make a snowman
Make snow angels
Slather on suntan lotion in the middle of winter. The scent will win you friends and admirers
Snow animals or statues
Snow biking
Snow cave
Snow skiing
Snow tubing
Snowboarding
Snowmobiling
Snowshoeing
Take your pooch to the park or open field after a fresh snowfall. Proceed to make people and doggie snow angels.
Watch the snow fall
Winter luge
Yodel, especially on the chair lift
Blow bubbles with bubble gum
Blow on a beer bottle
Blow on a blade of grass
Crank up some music
Cut out photos and paste them on Popsicle sticks and have a puppet show
Eat
Eat 6 spoon full of sugar, a soda, and another think that makes you hyper and then you won't be bored anymore, you will end up finding something to do... trust us
Experiment with makeup
Get a bubble blower and then blow some
Get a tootsie pop and see how many licks it takes to get to the center of the tootsie pop
Laugh out loud
Learn how to fake an accent
Make a humorous crank phone call
Make an entertaining phone answering-machine message
Make up poems or songs about your boredom
Nap
Play cards
Play Dead
Play house with yourself
Play with marbles
Pop zits and blackheads, clean lint out of belly button, q-tips, and find those hidden treasures of the nose
Practice your arm pit farting skills (Advanced participants try with your hand cupped on the back of your knee)
Pretend that you are not bored
Read some comic books
See how long you can hold your breath
Send a tune with keypad numbers on the phone
Sing even if you can't
Spin until you're dizzy
Stand on your head
Stare at the ceiling and try to make something out of the dots
Write your name in permanent marker on all your underwear
Break into a friend's house and clean it Call a wrong number and talk to whoever answers.
Catch a fly, then put in a jar and stick in the fridge (this cools their metabolism down), then tie the fly to the end of a thread 15in. and hold the other end of the thread while you watch it fly around (We have tested this and it works - a lot of patience is involved)
Chase your best friend round the sofa
Dance around your living room naked
Doodle or cartoon
Dress in something silly and laugh at yourself
Figure out how to get yourself on TV
Find an address to your favorite famous person and write them a letter. See if they write you back
Flip a coin 500 times to see who wins
Get on the radio
Give names to your body parts
Go shop for a really cool book
Go through the English dictionary looking up really long words like discombobulated.
Have a carpet picnic
Have a staring contest with yourself in the mirror.
Kiss your elbow, if you can.
Lay a long straight line of masking tape on the floor. Now spin around really fast then try walking on the masking tape.
Learn a new word in the dictionary
Learn to Juggle
Learn to peel a banana with your feet
Let a helium balloon float up to your ceiling and throw things at it to pop it
Listen to a type of music that you don't normally listen to
Listen to really hard music and head bang
Listen to some polka music and eat sausages
Make a list of the fun things you've already done, then admire how long your list is.
Make a trash can a basketball hoop and throw crumpled up paper for baskets
Patch some clothing
Phone your local government rep and see if you can convince him or her to have lunch with you
Plan a journey
Play bottle cap hockey...with pens as the sticks and a bottle cap as the puck
Play dress-up with all the clothes you have in your closet
Pronounce your friends names.backwards
Put doll clothes on your cat and play dress up
Rent a movie, 2 hours later go back to the same movie store and rent the sequel, 2 hours after that go back and get the third movie
Rent some fun movies
Roll your change
Run around your house as fast as you can and, count how many times you can go without getting tired.
Shave your head
Sit at your desk with your left arm sticking out until it goes numb
Snap your fingers as if suddenly you have a bright idea and see if you get any
Take a company that has been getting on your nerves - find out who the person is that you should write complaints too. Write a letter to them with the most trivial or confusing complaint. Ensure you talk in circles so that the letter is well written but extremely confusing
Take one hundred dollars out of the bank and spend it all on yourself
Throw a huge party for no reason at all
Turn on the T.V., put it on mute and make up dialogue
Washable crayons are a wonderful invention. Pick a wall and invite friends
Watch 101 Dalmatians and see if they really show 101 Dalmatians
Watch a foreign film
Watch cartoons (preferably funny stupid ones)
Write a big list of fun things to do
Write a limerick or twelve
Write a rant letter to the paper
Write out ten things that make you happy - then do one of them
You and a friend pick your noses and see who has the biggest boogers
Bring dog treats to the park and meet 25 new dogs
Burn things with a magnifying glass
Buy the craziest, most comfortable slippers you can find
Climb a tree
Find some crutches and pretend to have a broken leg
Flip some coins into a fountain
Flirt with people
Go dumpster diving and see what you can find
Go out and get your motorcycle license
Go to a candy store and buy a ton of candy. Eat all day
Go to the 24 hr grocery at 1 a.m.
Have an egg toss
Make a rope swing
Make faces at strangers to make them laugh
Play Frisbee
Play knicky knicky nine doors leaving freaky anonymous notes behind
Put bunny ears on people you don't know (the two finger kind you know, like a peace sign)
Skip rope
Take your TV outside
Try to stay up for 24 hours
Volunteer for a charity
Walk around a public park, every so often pretend to trip on a 'invisible' wire.
Watch kids play - and then join in

Be a weaver and take up basketry
Build a float for a parade
Build a model railroad.
Build a model rocket
Carve a pumpkin
Collage your car into like the coolest most outrageous thing on the road
Collect bulrushes and spray with hairspray
Cut up a magazine and make a collage
Design your own tattoo
Do a crayon drawing and put in on your fridge (Especially if you are a parent or grandparent)
Do some woodwork
Draw an entire story (maybe your autobiography!) with stick-people
Draw pictures of yourself as a barbarian.
Find a creative place for a collage. Use things that mean something to you.
Find an 8 year old to write songs with
Get a plain shirt for target and decorate it with ribbons and rhinestones etc.
Get some glitter glue
Get your handwriting analyzed
Go the mall just to admire creativity
Have a business card made with your name number and a fake vocation: Like astronaut, race car driver, etc.
Join a pottery class
Keep a journal of the fun things you do from the list
Keep a sketchbook
Learn to knit if only to create the longest scarf you can imagine
Learn to play an exotic instrument like the Didgeridoo
Learn to play tangos on the accordion to serenade under someone's window
Learn to play the bagpipes
Learn to play the bongos
Make a flag for your bike
Make a sculpture
Make a trophy or certificate to represent a great feat that you have or have not done
Make hand puppets
Make paper chains
Make soap
Make sock puppets
Make some candles
Make some stained-glass artwork
Make your own clothing line
Paint a canvas
Paint the palms of your hands and the soles of your feet and make a pictureor decorate a wall
Paper Mache
Pick fresh roses and hang upside down to dry then create a design
Play a harmonica
Press flowers between wax paper and place in book to dry
Refinish an antique
Sketch or draw a landscape
Start a diary full of dreams
Start quilting
Take an improvisation or acting class
Take pencil crayons and color a picture that you have drawn
Take up calligraphy
Work on an impression of your favorite actor.
Write a movie script or book
Write some poetry
Write songs and go outside and sing them so everyone can hear

Believe in magic
Do your own thing all day
Dream the afternoon away on a riverbank
Enjoy a memory from the past
Ever try bird watching - what about bird listening?
Fall asleep on the lawn
Get up early to watch the sunrise
Have a paper airplane distance contest
Have a picnic with some squirrels
Hold a piece of Butterfly bush and let an Admiral land on your hand.
Listen to the language of the frogs or locusts
Make a house out of card board boxes
Take a ten-minute walk
Next time you see a rainbow, stop and really admire it
Play jacks or pickup sticks
Positive daydreaming
Say hello to cows
Sing even if you can't
Study the stars
Test drive a really expensive car
The next time it's really windy, find a safe place to lean into the wind
Watch an ant at work
Watch others play
Watch the moonrise
Ways to make money: Car Wash, Yard sale (get the whole block involved), lemonade stand, bake sale, rub sun tan lotion or tanning oil on people at the beach
Bake a cake, and eat the whole thing
Bake something for your neighbors
Buy your favorite ice cream and some plastic spoons and it at the park.
Change sandwich meat with a friend at lunchtime
Chuck random amounts of ingredients like sugar and eggs, into a bowl, mix it all up, cook it, then see what it tastes like you never know it could be really nice! Use garnishes when cooking
Cook something you have never cooked before
Cut potatoes into stencils and blot out designs with ink
Cut the crusts off of your sandwiches.
Decorate a cake with "Happy Tuesday" ( or any other day of the week on it!)
Decorate an outrageous cake
Decorate your food then eat it, eg. a smiley face sandwich made from chocolate spread, silver balls, sprinkles, etc.
Eat a fruit you have never tried before
Eat a huge piece of watermelon then have a watermelon spitting contest
Eat exotic foods
Enter a grape stomping contest
Get a large group of people and throw tomatoes at a target( people it always fun)
Go bowling in the grocery store with pineapples as bowling pins and cantaloupe for bowling balls.
Go for drinks at one place, appetizers in another, main course at another, dessert, than drinks again (of course)
Go to "The Chocolate Buffet"
Go to a pinball arcade and eat hot dogs
Go to the grocery store and buy one of every fruit
Have a cabbage kicking contest
Have a picnic with checkered tablecloth and fine wine and yummy cheese
Have dinner with the old people you know
Leave an outrageous tip for your food server
Leave copious amounts of jujubes with your tip at an upscale dining establishment
Make a sandwich with everything in your fridge
Make Chocolate Chip Pancakes
Make food sculptures.
Make French toast two inches thick
Make gingerbread men and decorate them so they look dangerous
Make home made ice cream
Make margaritas and hang out on the deck
Make pancakes in the shape of Mickey Mouse.
Make traditional food the wrong color like Shepard's pie with blue mashed potatoes.
Make beer or wine
Make your absolute favorite dish for dinner tonight
Make your own banana split
Make yourself a 'smore', microwave and eat it.
Name all your food creations with the terms "World Famous" and add your name too.
Open a package of chocolate chip s and eat them
Put your fork aside and eat with your fingers especially if it is spaghetti
Raid your kids' dress up clothes box and "dress up" for dinner.....it amazing how much better food tastes when you're a princess or a wizard.
Slurp your spaghetti really loud when you eat it
Start a food fight
Throw popcorn at a theatre
Use a straw to drink everything - extra points for silly straws.
With your hands behind your back eat jello out of a bowl.
Play flash light tag in a crowded place at night
Print up a bunch of "lost pet" signs, instead make signs for a missing grilled cheese sandwich. Tape them up in lots of public places, and make sure people see you doing it. Be sure to look very sad.
Put on a business suit and walk around a toy store playing with the toys really enthusiastically.
When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, " I Won! I Won! Third time this week!"
Dress up like a flight attendant and stand in an elevator, when people get on hand them peanuts and tell them to enjoy their flight.
Start hitting yourself in the head and say, SHUT up all of you - SHUT UP especially you Lawrence
Stick blueberries up your nose and see how far you can shoot them
Strut like John Wayne for a day.
Stuff a phone booth with people
Swim in the buff
Take an invisible dog for a walk.
Take your couch to the beach or park
Verbally Abuse your patio furniture
Voice your opinion where no one can hear you
When you see someone picking their nose, pick your nose too
Board games by a toasty fire
Build a mini weather station at home
Build a model car
Build a time capsule
Buy a tabloid
Crank up the music and dance in your pajamas
Do crossword puzzles
Either take lessons or hire a belly dancer for your next party
Get a blanket or sheet, and go somewhere you probably won't hurt yourself if you fall. Then have your friend hold one end of the sheet and start spinning so the blanket twists around you, then get your friend to pull his end of the blanket really hard and you should spin around till u run out of sheet.
Go to disco night at your local bowling alley
Have a carpet picnic
Have a dinner that is focused around laughter
Have a limbo contest
Invent a new dance
Have a scary movie marathon
Listen to classical music, lights off, lying on the floor, and take turns saying what it sounds like
Jigsaw puzzle
Nothing beats a Bollywood movie
OrigamiPlay
Cluedo
Play foosball
Play video games
Scrabble
Start a pillow fight
Tell scary stories to each other
Washable crayons are a wonderful invention. Pick a wall and invite friends
Write "sexual favors" in the memo space on your checks
Write to your high school French teacher and reveal the crush that you once had on them. Remind them that you are now legal
Be the first to jump in the freezing cold swimming pool
Blow bubbles on a child's belly
Buy some comic books
Buy some crazy socks
Chase the ice cream truck
Design and build a time machine with friends. The wackier the better.
Do some crayon art
Do some hula-hooping
Draw with chalk on the road
Dress up and have a play
Experiment with makeup
Finger painting
Gentle put a ladybug on your hand and recite "Fly away, fly away.....
Get a Slinky and play with it
Get some chalk and play hop-scotch
Get yourself the coolest lunch box money can buy
Give balloons to people
Go buy a whack of firecrackers
Go fly a kite
Go to the park and play with the kids
Have a party
Have a water balloon fight
Have a water fight with the garden hose
Hold a baby chicken and gently place against your cheek to feel the fuzz
Iddy Biddy Indy (buy some remote-control cars, set up a track, call your friends and have your own darn I ndy Race)
Learn some magic tricks
Look for shapes in the clouds
Make a bridge across a stream or river. Be creative.
Make a tent over your bed with sheets and pegs and whenever you feel cold go inside and get cozy.
Paint the front door with purple polka-dots
Paint your car with stripes or polka dots (just make sure you use paint that will wash off)
Partake in some yo-yoing
Play Barbie's
Play cops and robbers
Play hide-and-go-seek
Play kick the can
Play Tag
Play with some children's toys
Play-doh
Put a bell on your bicycle
Put on some big rubber boots and go puddle-jumping
Racing mini motorized boats or planes
Read a children's story
Ride a Pogo stick
Ride a tricycle as if you were 4 years old again
Ride the kiddy rides, especially the ones in the mall
Roll down a hill
Run a model train
Set up a treasure hunt
Spin until you're dizzy
Stand on your head
Take off your shoes and splash your feet in a fountain
Wade for minnows
Wear your hair in pigtails.
Write down wishes in a book and call it "my wish list" check periodically to see how many come true.
Blindfold yourself then feed your date messy food like strawberries dipped in chocolate sauce
Canoe into the middle of the lake and snuggle up under a blanket.
Drink a bottle of Dom Perignon
Get dressed up, order in Chinese food, and eat it in front of a fire.
Go moon dancing
Go to a movie with the most letters or the least letters
Have a candlelit supper under the stars
Have a chocolate fondue date
Have a tickle party only for you and someone "special"
Pretend not to like the person you really like
Try a dating service
Carve your names in a place where lots of people will see (John luvs Julia)
Get Married in Vegas
Go into your partner's closet and hide little notes in the pockets of clothing they don't wear often
Have a Lady & the Tramp dinner. Buy super-long spaghetti noodles, set the table with a red-checkered cloth and don't forget the candle in the raffia-wrapped wine bottle. Have the video playing while you eat.
Hide candies and chocolates for lovers and friends
If you're going to get married, make sure there's a tuba player in the wedding band
Lay out in a field with a loved one and just look at the stars
Leave secret love notes
Make breakfast in bed for your lover
Stand about 3 feet apart and try to toss popcorn into your lover's mouth
Take a romantic holiday
Take a second honeymoon
Wake up and stay in bed (Wink, wink) until you are so tired you have to go back to bed
When your partner's traveling without you, sneak their favorite stuffed animal, picture, candy or childhood book in their suitcase

A Decade of Rock! (well almost anyway)

2006-11-22T14:11:00.000-06:00

I thought it was 10 years because I was in my first band when I was 15 but that can't be right becasue that was wehn I was in grade 10 i thought and that was 96 - 97 Ithink. I'm confused. Oh well. Whatever.

I was talking to Dave about bands. This is my band resume.

This is my 7.5th band. I just counted.

1996 to 1998- Snugglebunnies – Nirvana, Green Day Rancid covers - singer
1998 to 99 - T.H.O. – all originals, grungy – bass player
1998 to 99 - Radium – all originals, grungy + a grunge metal cover of “my sharona” (this band was the same band as THO only with a different drummer) – bass player
2000 to 2001 -The Dukes of Hazzard – punk covers - drummer
1999 -The Junior Mints – punk covers & parody songs – drummer/bass player
1999 – 2000 - Pleasure Fish – Guns & roses/Reel Big Fish cover band – Rhythm guitar
2002 – 2003 - Slapstick – mudvayne style original metal band – singer/screamer
2004 to now - Doppelganger Effekt – whatever we cvan come up with – bassplayer/guitar/back up singing.

Zoot Zoot! So I guess I've never really been without a band for longer than a few months since I became able to be in one. And in my first band i wasn't really able as I couldn't sing, I was the singer because we were friends and i couldn't play an instrument well enough to be in the band.

Keep rockin and rollin folks! And don't forget to come watch us play on December 1st at the Cafe java around 7 or 8pm i think.

Procrastination

2006-11-20T19:17:00.000-06:00

Good evening.

I am "working" on a group presentation with a very vague guidelives from my group who seems unconcerned that nothing seems to be done. I'm a little lost and I have re-confirmed my dislike of group work.

So, here I am, sur la net.

I have some Boston pictures (i totally went to Boston! It was rad.) but I should formulate those a bit so here are some bits and pieces of possible interest.

This, I found during my shark hat research.

For those of you who don't know much about animals this is a fire-breathing sloth. They're mostly found in forests of Saskatchewan and Northern Manitoba. Watch out for those mofos, they're slow but you know. . fire.

This is a picture of myself that I forgot about that my mom has. It's a proof from my grad photos from High School. this is pose number 3.

This is part of the Birthday card my sister sent me that was totally bodacious.

I'm supposed to be making the Ninja Turtle Grimace but I don't think I'm quite pulling it off.

AND
The crown jewel of this post. Earlier in the week for whatever reason Etienne and I were having an email dsicussion about the apocalyptic forms of the 4 evangelicals (St. Luke - Ox with wings, St. Mark - Lion with wings, St. Matthew - Man with wings, and St. John - Eagle with. . wings) and he was saying how it was lame that Luke and Mark got to be cool chimerical critters and Matt and John were just these kind of lame-o things. So we were discussing what better evangelical forms would be. So during a boring presentation in one of my classes I present to you. . . SAINT CHRISTOPHER!

And since St. Christopher got his saintly-ness taken away by the church because he wasn't real enough for the catholics, I don't have any competition. I guess I have to write a gospel first but that's just a technicality I think.

Rock and roll folks!

New Discovery by Cousteau & Crew

2006-11-16T08:26:00.000-06:00

So my home-boy Curtis bought some plain foam mesh hats with the intention that I (being a venerable artiste = AR-TEEST) would draw something neat-o on them. I didn't have any ideas and i kept putting it off because drawing right away in marker without pencilling it in first terrifies me, especially on someone else's stuff. BUTT about a month ago I found an idea that i thought was pretty rad and I just drew it every chance I got to practice in hopes that I would be able to do it on the hat with out messing it up. This was agood plan but it didn't quite work out. Oh well. It still worked but time will be the judge of my success I suppose.

So here it is: A Fire Breathing Shark.

Here's my first drawing of said shark the fire breath came out looking like a nasty burp so I added the tacos bit. it's fire from a flame thrower so it didn't quite look how i wanted. Drawing realistic fire is also hard for me.

SO that turned out alright but the fire was no good. Thankfully there are A LOT of people o nthe internet who like to chronicle making things that breathe fire so there's a wealth of flame throwing pictures out there. This one worked out nicely. I drew it at work obviously as it's on "customer service" note paper and the shark is a rush job.

And here's the finished hat. I think the shark turned out sort of fat but the idea is still cool and it looks alright.

These pictures kind of remind me of myspace pictures.
It was also my 25th birthday yesterday. I was thinking of making like a big "through the ages of Chris" montage but like i have time for that. Maybe when I'm 26.

ROCK AND ROLL (even if you're a quarter dead. . . assuming I'll live to be a hundred. anyway)

Look ma, I'm on TV

2006-11-12T23:18:00.000-06:00

Here's a video of one of the tunes we played at the Granada. it's posted on our myspace but maybe you don't go there much.
Stay tuned for more possible videos of tunes or so-so recordings we made the other day that hopefully will get transfered into a digital form soon. (and will hopefully sound reasonable)

I can't get the embed to work so here's a link:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1413291404

Dang interwub.

The tune's called Russian Dance. It's pretty fun. The sound is sort of bad so you can't hear the guitar or bass much and that makes the piano sound off, but it's really not, I think it's jsut the acoustics and the tiny camera mic. Next time I'll hook up an external mic if possible.

ROCK OUT!

p.s. it was filmed most graciously by my lovely wife. She says, sorry about the shaking. It really is hard to hold video cameras still, I can vouch for her on that one.

2 Questions

2006-11-10T15:18:00.000-06:00

What's happening in this picture really?

and

Does anyone get this joke I made?
(Possible internet phenom on a t-shirt? my millions perhaps will be made with this joke?)

Rock out dudes.

Goth poetry, in relation to Raisins.

2006-11-10T14:57:00.000-06:00

Torpid darkness engulfs my blackened soul
Raisin-like my despair squirms and gutters in the cold
Night
Slicing it’s purple wrinkled skin
Sunripe
Sunripe
Sunripe
Once I was a grape.

MY PAIN SQUISHES WITH A MILLION BLADES.

X

The frozen fire of rain falls, raisin-like upon my dark veil of sadness
Wrinkling my dark dark soul, a raisin in putrefied desert heat
Playing Motown songs at Christmas
But
Only
The
Sad
Ones.
I heard it through the (g)rapevine.

Cassette Love

2006-11-08T14:36:00.000-06:00

Since I can't afford an mp3 player that works or makes sense (in english) and my discman is too old to have skip protect, I've been listening to my ipod MACRO ie. my walkman. I have probably about a 100 tapes, many mixed without labels. It's pretty great actually.
Here’s a rare jewel I just stumbled across tacked on at the end of a tape (my favourite song lyric ever in bold):

This is a song called metal head I think by a band called "Blotto."

Strange sensations coming over me
Something I can't explain
Suddenly there's an endless void where I used to keep my brain
I gotta see a doctor, but I'm too wasted to phone one
Wanna customize my van and I don't even own one
I get up in the morning and I wanna shave my chest,
Get myself a skull tattoo, wear a denim vest
My friends are getting worried
They don't know me anymore
I smash my head against the wall
I don't even know what for
Ah, ah, ah, Oh!
I'm turning into a heavy metal head
Ah, ah, ah
I'm turning into a heavy metal head
Something makes me lose control when I hear the guitar go--
Metal head, I'm a metal head and I wanna rock and roll
When I go to a rock show I wanna raise my fist
Show my band of leather and the spikes around my wrist
I've got my Harley T-shirt, my wine skin and a six pack,
Some homegrown for the ride back home, Van Halen on the 8-track
Ah, ah, ah, WWHAAAAA!
I'm turning into a heavy metal head (Heavy metal!)
Ah, ah, ah
I'm turning into a heavy metal head
Something makes me lose control when I hear the singer go--
Metal head, I'm a metal head, I just wanna rock and roll
(metal head, I'm a metal head, I wanna rock and roll)
1,2,3,4!
Strange sensations coming over me
Something I can't explain
Suddenly there's an endless void where I used to keep my brain
Ah, ah, ah, WWHAAAAA!
I'm turning into a heavy metal head (Heavy meta!)
Ah, ah, ah
I'm turning into a heavy metal head
Something makes me lose control when I hear the drummer go--
Metal head, I'm a metal head, and I wanna rock and roll
(metal head, I'm a metal head, and I wanna rock and roll)
I'm a metal head, metal head
I just wanna Rock and Roll!

1982. . .is there nothing you can’t do?

Something less verbose and intelligent

2006-11-06T08:07:00.000-06:00

Yo,
I just got an idea from an Achewood ( www.achewood.com ) alt text.

Get a dude from a third world country on survivor. Make up an elaborate back story so everyone thinks he's a normal amercian dude. Since he's already pretty impoverished and used to being pretty hungry, he'd smoke all those doofus mofos. AND he'd have the added incentive of bringing a million bucks back to his hometown and basically savign al lthe folks and being the town most rad dude instead of just some lucky jackass with a big house in California.

That would be cool. And probably pretty not politically correct but I don't care. This is the internet man. You can watch people having sex with animals on here. I'm not that offensive by a stretch.

Rock on!

MARX VS. SARTRE : CAGE MATCH

2006-11-02T18:04:00.000-06:00

TWO MEN ENTER. . . ONE MAN LEAVES.

This is the other essay I've been stressing about, hopefully the mark turns out to be a good one. This is the longest essay I've ever written. NEAT.
Enjoy(?)
(again don't copy this essay or you'll get all failed and stuff)

Chris Brandon

Marx or Sartre? An Educational Conundrum.

Jean-Paul Sartre and Karl Marx were two men separated by nearly a century. Both men would develop theories on the true nature of man that would be thought about and debated for many years after their deaths. Marx’s theory would involve economics and the continual war between classes that he could only see ended with a revolutionary Communist uprising against the oppressive ruling class. Sartre’s theory involved only one person, yourself, and all that was needed for revolution was the realization that the only thing you could control and you must control, is yourself and the understanding of your freedom to choose is tantamount to becoming a complete person. Their theories are quite different and yet have many similarities, much like the human race when compared against itself. In regards to education it would be difficult to assimilate one’s theories into the other and it would be impossible to please both men’s ideologies within one educational institution. Although this is true, we are all different, and some respond in a more positive or negative way when provoked with different stimuli than others; people tend to be very subjective and in the end I think this makes it impossible to choose one system for all. If one was forced to choose an ideology from either man, however, the Communist theories of Marx’s unified proletariat would be more appropriate for application in the educational system than would Sartre’s theories of individualist Existentialist freedom.

Sartre was a very complicated fellow and his philosophy followed suit, but his main supposition was that you make yourself who you are. Existence comes before essence. Given that this is obviously a simplification of a complicated concept, I will attempt in the next few paragraphs to summarize Sartre’s concept of Existentialism.

Sartre believed that in order to truly exist one must be determined to make an effort in one’s decisions to be. Man is alone, unjustified and irredeemably free. Masters (1970). How does this freedom manifest itself? By making choices in every new situation and finding justification in those choices, good or bad. We have not chosen this freedom, yet we must be free as Sartre believes this is our only option. There is no escaping our freedom to choose. Even if you refuse to choose a path, you are choosing the path of apathy. Not to choose is an impossibility. Making choices about your own life for yourself, according to Sartre, is to be courageous because you cannot know if you are right or wrong; you can only be free and take the chance.

Before I go any further I must explain one of the more recurring and important concepts of Existentialism: La Mauvaise Foi or Bad Faith. Since Sartre asserts that existence is a meaningless yawning void of nothingness and the only thing governing it is one’s ability to choose, it is easy to see how a person might refuse this freedom because to claim ultimate responsibility over your own life is a heavy burden to bear that most people do not want or cannot handle. This refusal is what Sartre calls mauvaise foi. Masters (1970). Sartre believed that this refusal of freedom was the worst crime a person could commit. This refusal of freedom entails a person attempting to become an object by harbouring a disbelief in the fact that in order to be one must choose. This is an attempt to escape the responsibility of doing anything to make his or her life meaningful. Masters (1970). It is through the choices we make that we become who we are. These choices help us to understand what meaning our lives have. One cannot be described by attributes because a personality is not mere characteristics like an object is. One can only be described through actions, so what one does is the only way one can be known. Masters (1970).

According to Sartre there are no absolutes; everything is relative to a situation. The ideas of Good and Evil are not permanent but instead vary from situation to situation. Morals should be followed, however, if one sees that those morals are just. One cannot choose to be responsible or irresponsible, one only chooses how that responsibility will be expressed. Humans must act by making difficult personal choices rather than following written orders. It is because of this that making any choice carries a great responsibility in Sartre’s terms. Masters (1970). We are free to choose, so all choices are of our own doing. We cannot pass the blame onto genetics or God or society. We choose our actions and are therefore totally responsible. We cannot ‘be’ (like a thing), we can only become. Every person is responsible for themselves and all of their actions.

There are three types of being according to Sartre: being-in-itself (existing as an inanimate thing), being-for-itself (existing as a person) and being-for-another (existing in regards to another’s perception of yourself). Type one (being-in-itself) are items classified as things; they simply are and do not become anything. Type two (being-for-itself) are not things, they are unstable and unpredictable; type two are aware humans. Type two is always in the state of becoming. Type three (being-for-another) can only happen to type two (people) and not type one (things) as it is the awareness of another’s consciousness that has an effect on one’s own consciousness. WebCT Power Point (2006)

Sartre does not believe it is productive to only know, understand or think. These concepts cannot create anything new, these cannot invent. In order to become, one must be in a continual process of renewal. Man can never define who he is by thought alone, regardless of how great. Real answers lie in doing. For Sartre writing was his action, his choice that made him be free in a type two (being-for-itself) sort of way. Masters (1970).

Sartre was decidedly humanist which means he rejected the importance of God or any dominant moral code and put emphasis on science and human reason. Human life is only as good or as bad as we make it. If life is good there is no one to thank, if life is bad there is no one to blame. Humanity is only what it does and has no innate nature. Sartre believed God is an excuse that people use in defense of their refusal to choose, or ironically – bad faith. Sartre believed that even if God did exist He wouldn’t matter. People would still have to choose what was good and what actions they would take. Masters (1970). God does not, according to Sartre, belong in the realm of existence and reality. Since the search for God is a futile one, the search for oneself is the only meaningful search.

Sartre’s view of life is mostly optimistic despite some of his negative terminology. Life has no meaning until we give it one and the future is very prominent in Sartre’s philosophy since we are constantly becoming. Being unable to act, according to Sartre, is life’s greatest tragedy. Masters (1970).

Marx’s theory of human nature is slightly easier to comprehend than Sartre’s since Marx believed himself to be more of an economist than a philosopher. To begin and get a general understanding of what Marx was all about he said, “If man is formed by circumstances, these circumstances must be humanly formed.” Stevenson & Haberman (2004). Marx believed all of the important changes in human history could be sourced back to one particular thing: socioeconomic class.

Human society has been divided into classes or a similar concept since the widespread demise of the hunter-gatherer way of life. Marx divides these classes into two main classes, the Bourgeoisie and the Proletariat: the property owners or the wealthy, and the labourers or the poor. The proletariat owns nothing. The only thing they possess is their labour, and that is sold to the ruling class. Labour and capital have opposed interests. Labour for a boss may earn a worker money but it also alienates him. The boss gets his money and his product and his labour, the worker is left with a mere percentage of the final product. Del Rio (1976). “The more value he creates, the less value he has . . . labour produces fabulous things for the rich but misery for the poor.” Marx (1844; cited in Del Rio, 1976). This act of exploitation depersonalizes man. The labour of the many (proletariat) becomes the capital of the few (bourgeois). Marx believed the most fundamental need of man, to create, has been turned into possession and private property. Del Rio (1976). Simply, the more a person buys/owns, the less they keep of themselves.

Marx believed all the problems in the world can be traced back to the defense of private property. Class struggle has always existed and likely always will, at least until the worldwide Communist revolution takes place. As long as one class profits from the exploitation of another there can be no social harmony. The capitalist system exists solely to create profit and this profit is based on exploitation and the obtaining of private property. This property is obtained by exploiting the labour of the working class; most of whom are unaware of being exploited and just accept this system as the way things are. “What you have is what you’re worth.” Del Rio (1976).

One of the most prevalent concepts of Marx’s ideology is alienation. Alienation is the sense a person gets when what belongs to them is extorted. In the capitalist system that existed in Marx’s time and ours, the working class are alienated from themselves, their work, nature and from other people. WebCT Power Point (2006). Alienation depersonalizes and objectifies the worker making him or her a cog in the capitalist money making machine.

Marx was a materialist in the way that he was not an idealist. He therefore believed that there was a scientific reason behind what was happening with people and used logical arguments to find truth. WebCT Power Point (2006). Marx believed man was not self determined, but he also did not believe man’s fate was decided by God. Marx believed that the actions of men were caused by socioeconomic factors.

Although they had many differences Marx and Sartre also had many similarities. After some study into their respective philosophies and ideas I was not surprised to find out that Sartre eventually became a supporter of the Communist Party. Stevenson (2004).

“Freedom is so much the essence of man that even its opponents realize it . . . No man fights freedom; he fights at most the freedom of others. Every kind of freedom has therefore always existed, only at one time as a special privilege, another time as a universal right.” – Karl Marx. Dunayevskaya (1958).

Marx and Sartre shared this thought that freedom was undeniable. The essence of man, as Marx says, is freedom and the building block of Sartre’s philosophy is man’s freedom to choose.

Marx said, “Philosophers have only interpreted the world, in various ways; the point is to change it.” Del Rio (1976) This statement made by Marx illustrates clearly that the two men had some common ground on thinking and doing. Sartre expressed quite adamantly that thinking and studying were nothing compared to doing and was very supportive of social and political action. “There is no cemetery like a library.” Masters (1970). This not so subtle metaphor demonstrates Sartre’s agreement with Marx that studying the past will not help one to become. Reading about past events does nothing to help justify the now. These comparable statements made by both men about eschewing thought without action could either be looked on favourably or unfavourably by an educational institution. On one side of the spectrum it could be looked upon as applied learning, where a student learns something new and then puts it into practice or applies it to everyday life. This concept is very much a part of the current educational reform here in Quebec. On the other more conservative side it could be looked upon as a rejection of the study of history and the ways of the past. The thought of either Marx’s revolutions or Sartre’s radical freedom of choice may be too worrisome a topic for some more cautious educators.

“Sartre’s view of human reality stands in absolute opposition to the orthodox Marxist view, which regards man as an object in the stream of history. Sartrean existentialism, on the contrary, insists on the importance of individual human dignity and freedom.” Masters (1970).

Sartre believed people had the ability to choose to do or be anything; people could never be mere objects to be acted upon by outside forces. Everything we do or say is our own decision to make and no outside force can change that, socioeconomic or not. This is the main point of divergence between the two men’s theories and will stop their two theories from successfully blending together. Specific ideologies like Marxism, limit individual human freedoms and for Sartre to allow a code of values to interfere with freedom is unlikely at best. Masters (1970). At the same time, Sartre’s individualism conflicts with Marx’s hope for harmonious communal living and working. In order for people to live and work together in peace they must at least use the same system of values or the conflicting morals will cause an unbearable dissonance in their relationships. An example to illustrate this point would be a situation involving two students working in a group, one who was raised to follow rules, play fair and do as he was told, and the other student who was raised to do what ever it took to win and that even cheating was acceptable if it was truly necessary. These two people would not be able to work together harmoniously because their set moral structures would be incompatible and would conflict on a nearly all points while trying to complete the assignment.

In the case of Sartre one would assume that education would be held in high regard since how else except with knowledge would someone be able to make choices in life that are good, as in, informed and responsible? I think Sartre would put particular stress on teaching the importance of accepting your freedom and integrating that freedom into the choices you make on the path to becoming. At the same time a conflicting point arises in regards to schooling where Sartre would not want a free man to affiliate himself with any set code of values; to encourage living for others or making choices that conform to a set structure, therefore being decisions which are not truly free. Since all schools possess an environment of rules (which can sometimes be quite strict), regulations and moral codes, it would difficult to please Sartre in the present North American system.

For Marx education is important, but only if it is tailored to the proletariat in teaching them how rise up against their oppressors the capitalists and/or on how to live communally. Marx did not believe education to be very helpful as it stresses the conformity of children into a class system. WebCT Power Point (2006). The school itself is a class system that is very open to possibilities of alienation. Education in schools would not be powerful enough to lead the students on to social change since to bring about social change the students would need to be deeply involved and it is very hard to make students interested enough in what they are being taught to become that involved. Marx would require a school that was not an institution, as nearly all institutions are run by the state or the ruling class in order to mold the children into good citizens who obey the hierarchical/oligarchic demands of a capitalist society.

In an ideal Sartrean school, students would have to be treated as free individuals. Discipline would be interesting in such a system as blame could not be passed on to someone else since all the students are free to make their own choices. The only rules the students would have to follow would be the rules they set and accept for themselves. Therefore telling a child that they had done wrong when they do not themselves believe what they did was wrong would be incredibly difficult and hard to explain, especially to a younger child raised in an Existentialist culture. Emphasizing how each child is unique and special would be a positive encouraging factor, however, in a Sartrean school.

In a school following Marx’s principles the students would be taught that they are not unique but part of a whole. They would be shown that they are a class that will be the ruling class through strength, revolution and unity. In my opinion this would be equally as positive and encouraging a situation as Sartre’s hypothetical school where everyone is taught that they are unique. It is a very different view but the sense of unity that would need to be imbued in the students would be a powerful experience. It would be very empowering to know the capabilities of one’s unified group against those that would oppress and exploit them. Marx’s school may not be able to prevent the feelings of alienation the students would no doubt feel since they are teenagers in an institution giving up their time and labour for marks, which in the school system are a form of currency. At the very least they would be taught about the concept so they would understand this feeling of alienation and be equipped with the knowledge to fight against it.

All students would be important and no one would be left behind because for the proletariat movement to be strong, all of the students must be strong and willing to work together closely. Learning how the very existence of socio-economic class is detrimental to their quality of life would inspire the students to work towards a classless society when they leave school. Teenagers in high school are often at a point where they are searching for something to believe in and a positive ideology that is egalitarian and revolutionary would be appropriate for them to cling to. Most teenagers do not feel like they are treated equally as they are no longer children and not yet adults so the idea of an equal proletariat would be very tempting. Also, since teens are often rebellious, the revolutionary portion of Marx, rising up against the bourgeois, would be difficult to resist for almost any high school youth. Again the unity within the school and the student sense of community would be an affirming addition to any school.

In elementary schools my opinion is that a great deal of emphasis would have to be placed on co-operation and sharing in order to prepare the children for the coming communist system. The concept of private property would be a difficult concept to remove from society and would need to start at the youngest age possible. Perhaps even to remove the word “mine” from the school yard lexicon.

The attitudes of the teachers in this Marx inspired school would have to be quite different from that of many teachers in schooling most of us have participated in. By this I mean the teachers could not be distanced authority figures who control the students as if they were police, but must be more like a part of the student body. The teachers would need to equalize with the students and not be seen as dictators but as comrades in arms in the proletariat class. Perhaps the use of a higher percentage of student teachers, group discussion, hands on involvement and student teacher co-operative activities would be helpful in propagating this unified environment.

I believe learning in Sartre’s school would take place much in the same way as learning in adult education centres. In an adult education environment the students are given more one on one time and are encouraged to work at their own pace. The students become responsible for doing their own work. At the beginning of the term the students receive a workbook that they must complete by the end of the term. They choose how quickly or slowly they advance. If a student is dedicated enough it would be possible to complete more than one grade level in a year, but if the student chooses to they can remain at the same level for as long as the institution allows. This way each student is independently responsible for their own success due to their choices. For many students this environment is ideal. Examples of students who benefit from this mainly Sartrean school system are: students who have problems with authority figures, students who work better on their own, students who are gifted and are held behind by the grade level system or students who are slower and need to work at their own pace.

The Sartrean teachers would need to be careful not to impose their morals on the students but to act as guides on their journey of self discovery. Having a teacher as an authority figure could easily cause an eager student to fall prey to living-for-another by working hard not for their own satisfaction but to receive praise from the teacher or admiration or jealousy from the other students. Peer pressure would also continue to exist in this system for the same reason.

The radical freedom presented in Existentialism is a very difficult concept to place within the constraints of traditional schooling or in fact in any institution. I myself struggled with the concept without even knowing about Existentialism some years ago. When I was eighteen I moved out on my own for the first time and after a few weeks I realized that the only rules that truly existed for me were the ones I made for myself, all other rules only really existed if I chose to follow them. After I discussed it with my girlfriend, who disagreed, I understood that even though that was true in a sense, I still had a moral code of ethics ingrained within in me and I could not justify breaking that code just because I was technically free and felt able to do what I wanted. I was and am affiliated with a structure of morals so in Sartre’s eyes I am not truly a free man. Regrettably in order to operate in the society I live in I must conform to that code or risk being arrested, institutionalized, or at the very least fired from my job or being flunked out of university. Unfortunately I believe this would be the case for most people attempting to adopt Existentialism. It would be difficult to teach children and teens to not be selfish with their freedom. Responsibility is something that comes with age, and even then many people never really develop that sense of responsibility. To tell your students they are free to choose and that they shouldn’t connect themselves with any code of ethics is a dangerous path.

The teachers in a Sartrean school would need to be very mindful of how they treat the students. It is always possible to see the students as archetypes like, class clown, the slow kid, the bad kid or the overachiever when the students should be treated subjectively. WebCT Power Point (2006). Sartre believed that people could change from moment to moment and because of their freedom to choose they could not be compartmentalized into one schema. Due to their freedom of choice, a student who is the class trouble maker one day could be the class over achiever the next day if she so desired because of the subjectivity of her decisions. Masters (1970). The teacher would need to really get to know the students and try to understand them as the individuals they are. This would require smaller class sizes and more interactivity between the student and teacher to foster awareness of the student’s and teacher’s true selves in the school.

In Marx’s school it is a possibility that if the teachers don’t do their job quite to the standards of Marx’s communal utopia the school itself would become a class system where the teachers are the bourgeoisie exploiting and alienating the proletariat students. There is even the possibility of a student proletariat uprising, which might be just what Marx would hope for, a microcosm for future revolts. Afterwards the students may even end up teaching each other although it is difficult to predict as most cultures of revolution in history will often revert back to a similar structure that was overthrown by the revolution; only with different leaders like in Stalinist Russia or the example of the pigs offered in George Orwell’s Animal Farm. A problem that comes to mind with Marx’s communal school, perhaps due to my being raised in an individualistic capitalist society, is the issue of conformity. In the communist system it seems that conformity is idealised, yet in our culture, especially with youth, conformity is often seen a negative concept. Even though it would be conforming to an ideal egalitarian way of life, there would always be those individualist few who would rebel against such social controls. As with all ideals, Marx’s is difficult to achieve, or at least difficult to envision within the constructs of today’s capitalist society.

The problem with trying figure out how people should live their lives, how they should be ideally educated and what causes them to do what they do is that everyone is so different and at the same time paradoxically similar. Attempting to find one theory of human nature that can encompass everyone is a nearly futile endeavor. Fortunately it is not entirely futile as philosophical studies yield the result of self-education and a deeper understanding of who we are and why we do what we do. I do not believe we will ever find the one true answer, or if we have already, I do not believe that we will ever all agree on what it is. Within education and the spectrum of Marxist or Sartrean methods it would appear that Marx’s methods are more universally appropriate for the schooling model. Sartrean methods, however, would perhaps be employable within the Marxist system in exceptional cases for those who have problems fitting the mold of the unified Communist whole. The Marxist system would benefit both the students and the teachers by amalgamating them into one educational body, ending the divide between them. Jean-Paul Sartre himself, in his later years, said, “Marxism is the philosophy of our time –we cannot go beyond it because we have not yet gone beyond the circumstances that engendered it.” Del Rio (1976).

References

Atkinson, D. (2006). WebCT Power Point. Lennoxville, QC: Bishop’s University.

Del Rio, E. (1976). Marx for Beginners. London, UK: Writers and Readers Publishing Co-operative (Society Limited).
(Note from Chris - if you want to learn about Marx, this would be the book.)

Dunayeveskaya, R. (1964). Marxism and Freedom . . . from 1776 until Today. New York, NY: Twayne Publishers.

Masters, B. (1970). Sartre: A Study. London, UK: Heinemann Educational Books Ltd.
(Note from Chris - if you want to learn about Sartre, this would be the book.)

Stevenson, L., & Haberman, D.L. (2004). Ten Theories of Human Nature (Fourth Edition). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

UPDATE: I ALSO GOT A 90% ON THIS ESSAY. RAD. This is a thrid year course and I'm only a first year. Fu-Schnickens dudes. Fu-Schnickens.

THE Granada!

2006-11-01T11:19:00.000-06:00

These picture may be teeney weenie but they make us look cool and professional because there's lights! and fake gold inlay things i nthe background instead of well. . a fridge like in my last post. So bask in our splendor!

(editors note: there is a lack of pictures of Dave our new drummer, needless to say, he is tremendously attractive.)

Doppelganger Effekt Rules & someone who opposes us in some way drools!

Doppelganger Effekt : C'est l'hallowe'en.

2006-11-01T11:04:00.000-06:00

These are pictures of us rocking out at the Halloween party on Church street. Apparently 150 people showed up. It was awesome. We need to play more house parties of ill-repute.

A good time was had by most!

OH SNAP!

2006-11-01T11:02:00.000-06:00

Here's a picture of my awesome friend Dave being Awesome.

ROCK AND ROLL!

We all need s(h)aving

2006-10-30T12:28:00.000-06:00

Guess who's bored?

Futurism VS Analytical Cubism: TO THE DEATH.

2006-10-19T16:27:00.000-06:00

This is what I've been working on this past week or so. I don't imagine anyone's too interested but it's a pretty good essay methinks. if not, maybe you're just surfing for help on your essay. You can steal mine if you want but it's your fault if you get kicked out of school or a zero or eaten by dinosaurs in a gladiator ring. Not mine.

Analytical Cubism’s Style & Futurism’s Manifestos

Throughout the history of art and all its movements it has been a common practice that each new movement borrows from the one that came before it. This continues to be true to this day, and Futurism appears to owe much to its predecessor and peer; Analytical Cubism. The Futurists and the Analytical Cubists were quite different fundamentally regarding their message and content, but shared many aspects visually and technically. The two main works that will be used as comparisons of the two styles in this essay are: The Portuguese (The Emigrant) by George Braque, created in 1911-12 (Fig.2) and Interventionist Demonstration by Carlo Carra created in 1914 (Fig. 1). These works are Analytical Cubist and Futurist respectively. Knowing that Carra’s work was created after Braque’s it appears possible that Carra borrowed some compositional ideas from Braque because of the apparent similarities of colour and composition. Despite the subject, media and political message being very different in both works, it is possible to see aesthetic similarities.

Cubism began in a somewhat clandestine way with a painting that was so well liked it remained on sale for 14 years in Paris in 1907, Lacroix (09/19/06). Picasso’s controversial Les Demoiselles d’Avignon (Fig. 7) was a catalyst, for both himself and for his friend George Braque, to explore a new way of painting that plunged the artists deeper into abstraction and history. It was not until 1911 that Braque and Picasso exploded Cubism into Analytical Cubism. Where Cubism transformed the everyday into simpler geometric forms with tilted perspectives, Analytical Cubism took Cubism a few steps farther and shattered the geometric forms into a meshwork of tilted planes like so much broken glass, the backgrounds and foregrounds paradoxically becoming one with no reliable source of light or vanishing point, Foster (2004). There are, of course, other differences between the two. The coming of Analytical Cubism would be the signal for a broad palette of colours to silently leave the studio. The monochromatic palette would have dominance in this period. This style of Cubism would also stress even farther than their painterly ancestors that the canvas was indeed flat. Any painting that was “three-dimensional” was just an illusion, meant to fool the eye, Foster (2004). The works of Braque at this time, like The Portuguese, had the many small tilted planes denying the viewer a proper perspective while still appearing three dimensional, but also had stenciled writing atop the tilted planes decrying those very same tilted planes, disrupting the illusion, Cottington (2004).

Crawling out of the cockpit of a sports car overturned in the ditch somewhere in Italy, the wheels still spinning, Filippo Thommaso Marinetti “invented” Futurism in 1909 without painting a single stroke. Marinetti was a poet and an agitator and to proclaim this new movement and to garner followers he published the manifesto for his creation on the front page of a French newspaper. Already Futurism was very different from Cubism. Like many artistic movements of its time, Futurism was not only for painters, but for all types of artists; poets, writers, actors, musicians, sculptors and painters. From its very inception the movement had a strict canon of rules; though it was not always followed to the letter, it nevertheless deserves a careful examination. Marinetti stressed the importance of the new -- the Future, of forgetting the old -- to “destroy museums and libraries” Kerrigan (2005), and championed the dynamic forms of speed, movement and light. Unfortunately for the radical ideals of Futurism, most of the painters were still using non-avant-garde techniques such as divisionism, which did not speak well for their renouncing of the old ways, Lacroix (2006). Not long into their new movement the Futurist painters traveled to France to meet their contemporaries -- including the Cubists, the true avant-garde, Foster (2004). From this contact they assimilated the new approaches into their own methodology with industrial efficiency.

Thus from observation the Futurists learned and adopted Cubism, adapting it to their painting style and discarding the old methods which alluded to traditional styles of divisionism and impressionism. An example of an earlier Futurist attempt to add Cubist elements into their methodology is the 1910, Portrait of Marinetti by Carlo Carra (Fig. 3); though the work can by no means be considered Cubist it nevertheless represents a noticeable shift towards the tilted planes and geometry of Cubism, Lacroix (2006). That is not to say that Futurism was “stealing” these techniques; as mentioned earlier, artists will always borrow from one another and seek inspiration outside of themselves. This portrait helps to demonstrate where this new influence is coming from. In sculpture as well there is a clear borrowing of ideas in the comparison of Pablo Picasso’s Woman’s Head (1909) (Fig. 6) and Umberto Boccioni’s Antigrazioso (1912) (Fig. 5), Martin (1978). To give credit to the Futurists they did add their own elements to what they were borrowing. The dynamism, movement and the colours that the Futurists expressed was something not present in Cubism at the time. Analytical Cubism was about static images and still life. Boccioni’s Dynamism of a Cyclist (1913) (Fig. 4) uses a Cubist style but incorporates movement successfully into that abstraction.

If Futurism borrowed so much from Analytical Cubism and is so stylistically similar, why is it considered to be a different movement at all? The simplest answer would be politics. One definite difference between the two is how politically radical the Futurists were. Futurism was about antagonism, performance and the violence and energy of a public spectacle. Analytical Cubism was about exploring new paths in painting technique and experimenting with painterly illusions of depth and perspective. Breaking the subject into pieces to separate the foreground and the background; the subject from the setting, Cottington (2004). There was no political message in Braque’s The Portuguese, he was simply painting and experimenting with perception. The Portuguese may have a similar colour scheme of monochromatic brown and combine text on top of geometric shapes to Carra’s Interventionist Demonstration, but Carra’s work is almost that of propaganda; alluding to war, or at least a prophetic message of the war to come soon after. Braque hints at guitars and a street corner and the words he has stenciled suggest dancing. Carra has written in and cut and pasted the words, “Long Live the King! Long Live the Army!” and “Italia!” The German word for dead (tot) is also displayed in bold black capital letters a month before war with Germany broke out, Perloff (1986). It is not expressly propaganda as it is a scrambled mishmash of words and phrases but the message could be interpreted as one of war and nationalism. Despite the darker undertones of the words present in Carra’s work his intentions in Interventionist Demonstration were to show “all the colours of speed, of joy, of carousings and fantastic carnivals,” to quote Carra himself, Kerrigan (2005).

From the time of their discovery of Cubism onwards, the Futurists walked the thin line between theft and flattery -- and it is hard to say on which side they ended up. They have not been overlooked in history, but they have not had the same influence in painting that the Analytical Cubists have had. Analytical Cubists would paint traditional subjects like nudes, still life and landscapes in a new and interesting way; Analytical Cubism was an aesthetic revolution. The Futurists would paint new exciting things like the automobile and forsake the nude. Unfortunately the Futurists would paint these modern subjects in a more traditional or less innovative way, but this is mostly because Futurism was more of an ideological revolution than one of aesthetics at its core. Perhaps the fact that Futurism was unable to live up to the ideals of its ambitiously violent manifesto detracted from the movement’s impact. It does seem as though the Futurists borrowed more from Analytical Cubism than they themselves were able to add to the forefront of artistic development. Instead it seems they succeeded in making a statement and causing controversy like the avant-garde should, which seems to have been one of their more important goals.

Bibliography

Cottington, D. (2004). Cubism and Its Histories. New York, NY: Manchester University Press.

Foster, H., Krauss, R., Bois, Y., Buchloh, B. (2004). Art Since 1900, Volume 1 1900 – 1944. New York, NY: Thames & Hudson.

Kerrigan, M. (2005). Modern Art. London, UK: Flame Tree Publishing.

Lacroix, C. (2006) Class Notes from Art from 1900 to 1950. Lennoxville, QC: Chris Brandon Publishing.

Martin, M.W. (1978). Futurist Art & Theory 1909 – 1915. New York, NY: Hacker Art Books.

Perloff, M. (1986). The Futurist Moment. Chicago, IL: The University of Chica

Hopefully both images appear.

This just in. . . I GOT A 90% ON THIS ESSAY! EFFIN A MAN.

Gordo Queso

2006-10-16T12:15:00.000-06:00

I've been discovering recently that no one knows the secret of how to make chips and cheetos more delicious.
I will uncover that secret right now.

This is a secret I learned from one of my Mom's old douche-bag boyfriends. This guy was a serious loser BUTT he did know this fantasic secret that has made my life slightly fatter.
When you get chips or cheetos, put them in the freezer for awhile, I suggest overnight for maximum effects. The fat/grease in the chips (junk food item) will freeze, so when it comes in contact with your warm, taste bud covered tongue the frozen fat will explode in a savoury flavour eruption. Cheetos, the puff kind, have the most noticeable effect. Also original Ruffles are quite greasy and effective.

To demonstrate this sensation here is soem guy wearing cheetos advancing on a possibly topless woman. I can't really tell. And yes, I'm just as confused as you.
The interwub is a weird place.

Mac Attack

2006-09-29T10:59:00.000-06:00

Here are some fabulous pictures of me, courtesy of Afterpants that I refuse to explain.

A Theory

2006-09-15T14:28:00.000-06:00

Here's my theory:

The guy who invented Red Bull travelled through his TV (a la Captain N the Game Master) into a Gummi Bears episode and brought back the secret recipe of Gummi Berryjuice.

That's what I think.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disney%27s_Adventures_of_the_Gummi_Bears

By the by, best cartoon theme song ever. Maybe not the best but Very triumphant. If you don't know it, check it out.

To the PopeMobile!

2006-09-15T14:13:00.000-06:00

Na na na na na na na nan na naaaa!!

I was going to make an evil Emperor joke like i assure you this station is fully operational or soemthing but this picture makes him look more like Yoda to be honest.

For those of you who aren't into the news this here dude basically just said Mohammed only brought evil things to his religion. Why someone in a position of would make shots at Islam right now is beyond me but whatever.

Hell in a handbasket.

Are fall out shelters expensive?

The End of an Era

2006-09-06T12:30:00.000-06:00

Howdy folks,
As some of you may know or may not know my radio show Bazooka Radio and my most excellent friend Curtis' show Gamma Radio have been cancelled for little to no reason. Well, I wasn't given a reason but Curtis was told that CJMQ was no longer playing "hard" music because there wasn't demographic in the Eastern Townships to support such shows. Gamma Radio was a "hard" music show so that left him with few options. Curtis and I are understandably upset and the way this was handled was pretty unprofessional. I haven't talked to the directors yet because I'm mad and I don't want to cause any trouble. I'm currently in the process of finding out what the best course of action is to "fight for our rights" so to speak. Any suggestions would be appreciated. But for now if you could send an email to the station director (Maureen Teasdale, the person who cancelled us) asking what happened to our shows to:
mdillon12md@yahoo.ca

we would really appreciate it. Just something like, "hey what happened to Bazooka/Gamma Radio? I liked that/those show(s)." Just a simple note is fine. Anything even slightly antagonistic will probably be replied to with threats or an initiation to a fight or some such ridiculous thing so that's your own prerogative. So if you know anyone who enjoyed our shows or any show that played punk/hardcore/metal music please send them this email as well and write in and ask where all the good music went. Let them know there IS a demographic in the Eastern Townships for music that isn't lame and that they can't just cancel radio shows because they don't particularly like the dj.

Thanks very much, we appreciate any help at all,
Chris

p.s. I may, in the future look into getting a show on a Sherbrooke indie station if nothing good comes out of the CJMQ deal.

Waiting for food

2006-09-06T09:10:00.000-06:00

I drew this a couple months ago whilst waiting for food with my Bro Matt. He posted it on his blog (see matt's army in the links area) So I figured I'd stick it on here just for an update.

So registration this year was much easier. they tell full time students a lot more stuff than they tell the part timers, it's not that difficult really since part timers are told nothing at all. I even got advice this time around! Can you believe that? BANANAS. And free hotdogs. That's really somthing.

My textbooks even look interesting. Art to 1950 has a sexy text book.

GO SCHOOL! OLDEST PARTICIPATING FROSH!

Pants Guy 4 Life

New Albums to release

2006-09-01T14:06:00.000-06:00

Well we finally recorded some albums but we had to travel back in time to get our producers in 600AD, then bring them to 1983 to record these tapes.

They turned out pretty well. They're priced at 28.99 and can be found on Quality Records!! You can also order them by phone if you watch channel 58 around 4am.

THE CHUNG

2006-09-01T11:31:00.000-06:00

Important ifo for the 3 to 4 BILLION peeps that peep my log (HAHAHA) i first came to recognise the greatness of the CHUNG a few months ago when I saw his ding dangness on www.artdorks.com then today I came across his blog via the Mighty Jeff Soto's blog. Now that man crush has turned to love.

http://www.thechung.com/

http://chungfortunecookie.blogspot.com/

I DEMAND YOUR ENJOYMENT.

Tomfoolery

2006-08-30T14:30:00.000-06:00

Dangit. Jason Sho Green is too clever. He makes me feel dim witted. His stuff is so cool and it makes me all kinds of jealous. www.youyesyou.net

I'm thinking of doing this up as a portrait. Mayhaps a painting, but more likely a pen and ink number. The Coreys. (RIP) (I know they aren't dead but they aren't famous for good reasons anymore.)

Racoons man. The new supreme race.

2006-08-28T07:58:00.000-06:00

This article is FANTASTIC. The way they write it, it's as if the racoons are an army of the undead and they're taking over the city. So wicked.

Psycho killer raccoons terrorize Olympia
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

OLYMPIA, Washington -- A fierce group of raccoons has killed 10 cats, attacked a small dog and bitten at least one pet owner who had to get rabies shots, residents of Olympia say.
Some have taken to carrying pepper spray to ward off the masked marauders and the woman who was bitten now carries an iron pipe when she goes outside at night.
"It's a new breed," said Tamara Keeton, who with Kari Hall started a raccoon watch after an emotional neighborhood meeting drew 40 people. "They're urban raccoons, and they're not afraid."
Tony Benjamins, whose family lost two cats, said he got a big dog - a German Shepherd-Rottweiler mix - to keep the raccoons away.
One goal of the patrol is to get residents to stop feeding raccoons and to keep pets and pet food indoors.
Lisann Rolle said she began carrying an iron pipe when she goes outside at night after being bitten by raccoons when she tried to pull three of them off her cat Lucy. She obtained rabies shots afterward as a precaution.
"I was watching her like a hawk, but she snuck out," Rolle said. "Then I heard this hideous sound - a coyote-type high pitch ... It was vicious. They were focused on ripping her apart."
The attacks have been especially shocking because raccoons came within five feet (1 1/2 meters) of cats without any problem in previous years, Benjamins said.
"We used to love the raccoons. They'd have their babies this time of year, and they were so cute. Even though we lived in the city, it was neat to have wildlife around," he said, "but this year, things changed. They went nuts."
In one case five raccoons tried to carry off a small dog, which managed to survive.
The attacks, all within a three-block area near the Garfield Nature Trail in Olympia, are highly unusual, said Sean O. Carrell, a problem wildlife coordinator with the state Department of Fish and Wildlife, adding that trappers may be summoned from the U.S. Department of Agriculture to remove problem animals.
"I've never heard a report of 10 cats being killed. It's something were going to have to monitor," Carrell said.
Meanwhile, residents have hired Tom Brown, a nuisance wildlife control operator from Rochester, Washington, to set traps, but in six weeks he has caught only one raccoon. He and Carrell said raccoons teach their young - and each other - to avoid traps.
Brown said he had seen packs of raccoons this big but none so into killing.
"They are in command up there," he said.

Monster thing

2006-08-24T20:56:00.000-06:00

Drew this over a week or so because i was early for psych class. Just

sort of popped out of the old brain meats. Sorry it's sideways.

Sketch plop

2006-08-24T20:54:00.000-06:00

Some doodleoos for yer perusal!

Octopus arms! OOoo Possible band myspace backround.

Page of doodles while watching a movie

Dove sketch for woodcut that never occured

Crow sketch for a woodcut that did occur. I liked how the crow turned out best in this sketch.

KING

INKY! Dude from previous doodles. Band mascot? Possibly. pretend there

are dagaz ehwaz-es on his upturned tentacle palms. i couldn't get them

to look right.

I . . . am come.

2006-08-15T12:06:00.000-06:00

I heard that on the clerks cartoon. The main dude Leonardo Leonardo shows up and says that. When I write it and put it in context (the internet) it sounds kind of dirty. Take it how you like it I guess. Sounds dramatic to me.

To sum up our trip in a large point form nutshell:
Taco bell is rad
White Castle is Rad
Wisconsin is pretty cool (Lots of cheese & 3 dollar six packs)
Milwaukee has a spiffy art museum
People in Minnesota love Malls too much
Stay out of Gary Indiana at all costs
Never drive through Chicago
Road construction is a tool of Satan
Winnipeg is much better than I thought (Eat at Earl's)
Ukranian food is John Candy-liscious!
Saskatchewan is flat AND pretty
Saskatoon has windex drinking juggling robot men who lust after bananas
Driving for over 9000 kilometres is possible but hard on the back butt and legs.

p.s. I also bought a beer cozy that looks like a big cheese. it is now my most prized possession.

More Cheerful stuff

2006-07-27T09:36:00.000-06:00

One of these days the world we know will disappear. The rusting wheels and wires and tortured trees and marsh grasses will survive. Unlike the pyramids, this debris will not testify of a lost civilization, but of our lack of one.
- Jasmina Tesavic

These two links show how many people have been killed in the currest Isreal/Lebanon war and in the American Iraq war.

http://www.coolpeopleyoushouldknow.com/iraq/deathtoll.html

http://www.moiz.ca/coffin.htm

Is it World War III already? Are we just afraid to admit it?

Hopefully i'll have some fun things to post up when I come back from Vacation. Try to stay positive and I will also do my best.

hugs,
Chris

Kick ass fish.

2006-07-25T11:46:00.000-06:00

Fisherman speared by blue marlin off Bermuda

Monday, July 24, 2006; Posted: 6:08 p.m. EDT (22:08 GMT)

HAMILTON, Bermuda (AP) -- A fisherman was recovering from surgery after he was speared in the chest and knocked into the Atlantic Ocean by a blue marlin during a fishing competition off Bermuda's coast.
Ian Card, 32, was in stable condition at King Edward VII Hospital in the British Island territory from a wound that his doctor said could have been fatal.
"He was very lucky," said Dr. Christian Wilmsmeier. "It was a very serious injury."
Card and his father, Alan, both operators of a charter fishing boat and experienced marlin fishermen, had just hooked the fish Saturday when it suddenly leapt out of the water, impaled Ian Card just below his collar bone and knocked him into the ocean.
"The fish all of a sudden changed direction and jumped. The fish made a leap and Ian just happened to be in the way," Alan Card said.
The younger fisherman managed to struggle free while his father cut the line and helped his son get back into their boat, the Challenger.
They managed to make it back to shore in about 40 minutes for emergency medical treatment.
The fishermen estimated the marlin at about 800 pounds (363 kilograms) and about 14 feet (4.3 meters) in length.

That's crazy man! Just picture that. Shoot. Ouch and a half.

Pirates?

2006-07-18T12:36:00.001-06:00

Apparently I'm a chick pirate? I would have preferred a quiz with some REAL pirates, not jsut disney pirates. Not that i didn't like the movies, I did.

here's some html crap that may or may not display some other junk!

You scored as Sinbad. You are gifted with gab and can talk your way out of just about any situation. Very charming, but sometimes the charm gets you into trouble. The gods look on you fondly and sometimes through obstacles at you just to see how creative your solution is.

Mary Read

100%

Sinbad

100%

Black Beard

92%

Captain Jack Sparrow

83%

Captain Barbosa

75%

Will Turner

67%

Captain James T. Hook

58%

Dread Pirate Roberts

42%

Morgan Adams

Long John Silvers

What kind of Pirate are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Pirates?

2006-07-18T12:36:00.000-06:00

What the hell is this? Some kinda tube?

SHRED IT UP!

2006-07-17T10:58:00.000-06:00

This is spectacular. This samurai jack type guy teaches you how to totally kill a guitar. Animated demonstrations, tablature and of course sound. AMAZING.

http://www.guitarshredshow.com/

ARE YOU HERE FOR THE GUN SHOW?

Cheerful

2006-07-17T10:54:00.000-06:00

More of that physics guy's comics.

My homie Dave read my previous blog entry about things being depressing and to cheer me up he sent me the below picture of himself.

it worked.

Dave, you are a King among Men.

Cheerful

2006-07-17T10:34:00.000-06:00

More of that physics guy's comics.

My homie Dave read my previous blog entry about things being depressing and to cheer me up he sent me the below picture of himself.

it worked.

Dave, you are a King among Men.

Steve Sutton

2006-07-17T10:23:00.000-06:00

Apparently there's a new thing called "video blogging." I'd wager a bet that this guy does it the best.

Check him out. (the part where he talks about Grand Theft Auto is FANTASTIC.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiYwo5K0VWg

If he's serious, this is crazy. If he's makign them this funny it's double crazy. He should have a tv show. (i guess he sort of does. . THANKS THE INTERNET.)

The World is a Depressing Place

2006-07-14T09:27:00.000-06:00

Over the past couple years I've started reading the news with relative frequency and hell ass damn the world is a terrible place. Ignorance really can be bliss. Remember those "Let's talk about Sharing" kind of books? Those were good books. It's obvious to me that most world leaders didn't have these books when they were tots. They probably had books like "Let's talk about Bombing the Shit out of Neighboring Countries" "Let's Talk About Worshipping Money!" etc.
I'm not super informed on most issues so it's not like i think I have the corner on truth here but people who think a war against terrorism can end aren't really thinking clearly. Terrorists can be anywhere and everywhere and anyone. That's why they're not called the army or soemthing. They're just people. proably mostly people whose lives have been ruined/shaped by the constant war in their part of the world. But honestly what do I know? i'm from Saskatchewan. I'm just venting.

I read this in an article today:

Should his tactics push Hezbollah or Hamas — whose militants captured an Israeli soldier in Gaza last month — into freeing or killing their captives, Israel could be in a position to knock its most bitter enemies out of the game for good.

It's talking about Isreal bombing the hezbollah in Lebanon. It's worth noting the only people killed so far (i think on both sides, except 8 soldiers killed in isreal by hezbollah attacks) have been civilians. I don't believe that any party/faction in the middle east could ever conceivably "knock out" as in eliminate forever any other faction/party. There will always be soemone left over to start up a new one that will probably be even more extreme than the group before. Hatred is easily perpetuated and all this bombing and rocketing and killing is seriously messing with me.
I can't imagine what it must have been like to be alive during one of the world wars. the stress must have been unimaginable.

It's days like today that make me wish i gave a crap about who Paris Hilton was dating( AKA having meaningless sex with) or how many babies famous people have.

I'm just tired of constant hostility and violence by people who should know better. these people are RU(I)NNING THE WORLD.

poo-gas.

fight violence : )

VJ Skills

2006-07-13T11:03:00.000-06:00

Yo, This dude was one of my friends in college, mayhaps if the band (doppelganger effekt) ever plays out Toronto way he might be willing to do some visual effects thingies for us, maybe even for free since he seems to have become very successful.

http://www.christianskjodt.ca/

I don't really like house music at all really but he was a cool guy. He took me to see this famous trance dude play a show downtown with his wealthy friends. It was weird, but it was pretty fun. There was one bit where i was dancing all crazy (as i am wont to do) and this girl who was dancing nearby said, "your dancing is crazy! I like it. I'm going to go get crystal!" then she left and iwas like ok. .um sure, then she came back later and there was no one with her but she seemed very "elated." later i talked to Christian about it and he was like, "She probably meant 'Crystal' as in, Crystal Meth." And i was like, "Umm. . .oh."

it was weird, but it was pretty cool, i had fun. Got really sweaty. I wore orange pants. (it seemed to me that that was what people at crazy dance parties did.)

p.s. there are also pictures of him with no shirt for the female readers out there.

Saved by the Bell

2006-07-13T09:12:00.000-06:00

I don't know how many of you watched this show but I watched it like crazy. Fresh prince too. I'm tempted to pick up the Saved by the Bell and Fresh Prince DVD's and watch them when I come home from work /school. It would kind of be like a time machine.

So this dude Steve Carey who does a webcomic called Poppycock circus has a Saved by the Bell blog that is solid gold.

read it here:

http://www.poppycockcircus.com/v-web/b2/

Here's an example of how friggin great it is.

07.11.06

The Lisa Card by Cmdr Steve Carey

Whew. For the first ten minutes or so of this episode, I was a little worried because it was all “Lisa spent too much money on her dad’s credit card” and “wah wah wah” and “this is just like a normal bad sitcom” and “where is the weird Saved by the Bell?” There was even a totally wasted dream sequence where Lisa’s dad was the devil and Screech was the Grim Reaper and Lisa dressed like a punk and I know I know that sounds crazy, but it wasn’t. Trust me.But then, whoa boy, we come back from commercial and get this totally insane Miss Wentworth class about animals doing it (you’ll remember her as the teacher who lied about subliminal advertising and who really should be fired dudes), Slater talking to Mr Belding about wanting to be a transvestite, Mr Belding talking about going to prom with his sister, Mr Belding talking about making it with a Vietnamese girl when he fighting was in 'Nam (WHAT), Lisa as a waitress and they play the tape real fast because Slater used to be a busboy in Bolivia (HUH?), and this really long bit where Lisa has a thought bubble over head and it basically replays the entire episode for some reason.
Guys, Saved by the Bell is really a pretty weird show.Also in this episode, Mr B does the worst Elvis impression ever, the twins buy cowboy boots, and nerds reiterate their fondness for retainers and Ovaltine.

Today’s Quote
Mr Belding: After the war, I was dateless again. That Viet Cong girl dumped me.
Not really a joke, but this whole bit just blew my friggin' mind ok?

Most Implausible Moment
Jessie: “Thirty-seven dollars in tips in three hours? I can’t believe it!”

Um, I can.

Miss Wentworth Should Seriously Be Fired Watch

Kelly: “You mean reproduction in the animal kingdom?”Miss Wentworth: “I prefer to call it ‘monkey business in the jungle.’”
Slater: “Yeah, how come birds aren’t attracted to horses?”
Miss Wentworth: “Oh, but they are. Unfortunately, there just isn’t room in the nest.”
Miss Wentworth: “Today’s topic: The Pond - Nature’s Hot Tub.”
Add to that getting the class to do impressions of frogs, insects, and birds in heat, and you’ve got a teacher who is seriously unstable. And, I ask this again, what the hell class does this lady teach??

How’d This Get Past Standards?
WatchIt was an innuendo bonanza today, even taking out Miss Wentworth’s class.

Screech (discussing a piece of Lisa’s lingerie he just bought(!)): It will lie next to me in my bed.
Lisa: I thought you slept with your dog?
Screech: He won’t mind!

-AND-
Mr Belding: “I’ll never forget her first words to me - don’t swallow your tongue!”
-AND-
Customer: “This isn’t what I ordered - you were supposed to toast my buns!”
-AND-
Lisa: “Daddy, I was kissed by nerds!”
-AND-
Lisa: "Daddy, punish me!"

I miss you Saved by the Bell.

A Classy Dude

2006-07-07T08:21:00.000-06:00

I have a habit of reading Wikipedia when I'm on the interwub and it takes me to all kinds of interesting topics. Did you know Bobby McFerrin ISN'T dead like everyone thinks? he's still doin all kinds of stuff. He was even on Family Guy. This isn't the point. This is a little speechy that Mr. Rogers gave in Supreme Court o nthe subject of VCRs. I think this statement would apply to all kinds of media usage. I bet all the copyright fanatics over at www.boingboing.net would go bonkers over this quote except they seem seem to hate Christians pretty bad so maybe not.

"Some public stations, as well as commercial stations, program the 'Neighborhood' at hours when some children cannot use it ... I have always felt that with the advent of all of this new technology that allows people to tape the 'Neighborhood' off-the-air, and I'm speaking for the 'Neighborhood' because that's what I produce, that they then become much more active in the programming of their family's television life. Very frankly, I am opposed to people being programmed by others. My whole approach in broadcasting has always been 'You are an important person just the way you are. You can make healthy decisions.' Maybe I'm going on too long, but I just feel that anything that allows a person to be more active in the control of his or her life, in a healthy way, is important."

And that's that. Rock and roll Mr. Rogers.

NO DANCING.

2006-07-07T07:27:00.000-06:00

She is now in the vile embrace of the Apollo of the evening. Her head rests upon his shoulder, her face is upturned to his, her bare arm is almost around his neck, her partly nude swelling breast heaves tumultuously against his, face to face they whirl on, his limbs interwoven with hers, his strong right arm around her yielding form, he presses her to him until every curve in the contour of her body thrills with the amorous contact. Her eyes look into his, but she sees nothing; the soft music fills the room, but she hears it not; he bends her body to and fro, but she knows it not; his hot breath, tainted with strong drink, is on her hair and cheek, his lips almost touch her forehead, yet she does not shrink; his eyes, gleaming with a fierce, intolerable lust, gloat over her, yet she does not quail. She is filled with the rapture of sin in its intensity; her spirit is inflamed with passion and lust is gratified in thought. With a last low wail the music ceases, and the dance for the night is ended, but not the evil work of the night.

The girl whose blood is hot from the exertion and whose every carnal sense is aroused and aflame by the repetition of such scenes as we have witnessed, is led to the ever-waiting carriage, where she sinks exhausted on the cushioned seat. Oh, if I could picture to you the fiendish look that comes into his eyes as he sees his helpless victim before him. Now is his golden opportunity. He must not miss it, and he does not, and that beautiful girl who entered the dancing school as pure and innocent as an angel three months ago returns to her home that night robbed of that most precious jewel of womanhood--virtue!

When she awakes the next morning to a realizing sense of her position her first impulse is to self-destruction, but she deludes herself with the thought that her "dancing" companion will right the wrong by marriage, but that is the farthest from his thoughts, and he casts her off--"he wishes a pure woman for his wife."

She has no longer any claim to purity; her self-respect is lost; she sinks lower and lower; society shuns her, and she is to-day a brothel inmate, the toy and plaything of the libertine and drunkard.

SO CUT OUT ALL THAT DANCING LADIES. UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET ALL KINDS OF BONED.

WTF mate?

2006-07-06T11:13:00.000-06:00

Stop with the ding dang missle crisis' already.

CRAP.

Yeah I'm talking to you:
USA
North Korea
Iran
Isreal
Palestine

You bunch of dinks. Cut it out with the killing everyone on earth plans.

jeez. Read a book.

Comics by a physicist

2006-06-27T12:17:00.000-06:00

This dude makes killer comics that made me laugh quite a bit.

http://xkcd.com

GO AND GET SOME LAFFS!

p.s. make sure to read the alt text, it's funny too.

GOGOL BORDELLO

2006-06-27T09:37:00.000-06:00

Very Much Hammering

New York's notorious Gogol Bordello takes its smashing Gypsy-punk rebellion nationwide.
BY ZACH DUNDAS
Eugene Hutz--born in Soviet Kiev, shuffled through refugee camps across Europe, chief provocateur of New York's notorious Gogol Bordello--is no stranger to the strange.
His band is a mongrel beast, a sextet featuring Russians and Israelis on violins, accordions, guitars and horns, a maniacal Ukrainian singer (that's Hutz), an American drummer whipping it all into sweaty chaos. Hutz has called Gogol Bordello's music "Balkan Gypsy punk rock" and "rural Transylvanian avant-hard." Many have tried, but no one's devised more apt descriptions.
Gogol Bordello shows are wooly New York legend, a mix of surrealist cabaret theatrics and anarchic rock antics. Crazy stories abound--about the drunken Latvian prime minister slumped on stage, about late-night, plate-smashing, table-dancing debauchery, about hot candle wax guzzled along with copious vodka rations. The Gotham hype surrounding Gogol Bordello's stage show has reached such a fever pitch, Hutz won't discuss it anymore.
"I'm not gonna tell you anything about it," the singer says in pungent Slavic English. "All I tell you is that it will be approximately like circumcision, baptizing and a wedding at same time. It's a Gypsy secret."
If most bands washed up on rock's shores are yachting slicks with neat hair and easily identified target demographics, Gogol Bordello is the sleazy gang off a rust-hulked tramp freighter flying a Third World flag. Where do they come from? Where are they bound? Can the crew be trusted? Are they here for our women, or just our souls? Will they share their rum?
This fall, the band released the album Multi Kontra Kulti vs. Irony, and prepared for its first national tour. For all his personal experience with weirdness, Hutz says he's never ventured deep into America--and the prospect of doing so keeps him up all night.
"I am so wired I can't sleep," he says. "This will be my actual first trip through America. And I like that this time my music takes me on the road and not refugee program. That's a fuckin' nice improvement, too."
Whether America is ready for Gogol Bordello is an open question. The band has carved a unique notch in New York's music scene. Its approach--fanatically unironic and risky, prone to "trial and error," as Hutz puts it--rebukes the calculated retro-styles of many hot indie-rock poseurs du jour. The mayhem inspired by the band reportedly makes mainstream rock clubs nervous.
So in a few rock dives and many ethnic bars (and at this year's high-art Whitney Biennial), Gogol Bordello nurtures its public.
"We are definitely a very New York type of combination of characters," Hutz says. "Definitely more New York than motherfuckin' Strokes or some shit like that. We seem to appeal to all kinds of guys and girls doing strange hats. Lots of strange hats. It seems to be lots of Brazilian and Eastern European and all kind of drunk Italians and Mediterranean immigration transplants, as well as what you call fuckin' hipsters here. Which is not necessarily a bad word. From the stage you can address crowd in different languages. I speak four, so I can."
Gogol Bordello seems to be the sum of Hutz's obsessions: love for illicit rock and roll developed as a Soviet kid, consummated after his family's exodus to Europe and then the States; a fixation with East Euro peasant culture's ancient juju; a habitual urge to raise hell.

Hutz's dad played in a rock band at a time when Soviet authorities took a dim view of such capitalist decadence, introducing young Eugene to a variety of underground influences.
"I was probably first skateboarder in Ukraine," he says. "My dad brought me this thing from Yugoslavia in, like, 1980. And it wasn't bending, y'know? I don't know if the wheels were really turning. It was just a fucking thing. And nobody knew what it is. I just kind of liked freaking people out, kind of maneuvering for a while before I end up in the bushes. I just think, because of people's reaction, I grew to be attached to this provocative situation."
In 1986, the Chernobyl nuclear reactor popped, and Hutz's family evacuated big-city Kiev for the deep Ukrainian countryside. There, he steeped in the mossy musical traditions and mythology of a land then innocent of Coca-Cola and satellite TV, where violins were hand-carved only from trees struck by lightning.
Finally, atop this hybrid upbringing, set Hutz's love for authors like Nikolai Gogol, a Ukrainian-born genius whose absurdist tragedies previewed Kafka and remain some of the knottiest puzzles in Russian literature. In Gogol's world, overcoats come alive, noses go missing and dogs write gossipy letters. This aesthetic clearly influences some of Hutz's lyrics, wherein horny invisible men accost housewives and savage border guards stand watch over nonexistent countries.
"It's relevant in the sense of outsider's melancholic vision," says Hutz of the Gogol name-check. "It's also relevant for the grotesque."
All these influences are at play on Multi Kontra Kulti vs. Irony, a goulash of hilarity, sadness and riot. But what are these immigrant wanderers saying? Hard to put a fine point on it. But it seems Gogol Bordello's saying, "Look, the world is out to get us. You can retreat into self-conscious cool. Or you can fight back with every last weapon at your disposal."
"We combine music of Eastern Europe, the Balkans and Western music, particularly New York underground," says Hutz. "These kind of energies are the most interesting layers of culture. It's definitely not something that comes from magazines or from galleries. It's some kind of nasty thing, that make you go, 'What the fuck?'"
For all this high-minded/low-brow theorizing, Hutz stresses that Gogol Bordello is not a cultural exercise.
"We work in genre of a super-song," the mad Ukrainian says. "If you wanna think about it, and instigate all the hidden parts, you can do that. It's there for you. If you want to swing from a chandelier, and go fucking nuts, you can do that too. It's called super-music."

A fine-print liner note to Multi Kontra Kulti vs. Irony warns: "PS--It was your last summer before cultural revolution."Gogol Bordello has played in Europe, but never in Russia or Ukraine. Hutz once discovered bootlegged Gogol Bordello albums at a Kiev market, but not everyone back home is a fan. "The academic Ukrainian press has big problem with us, because we 'misrepresent the Diaspora,'" he says. "We apparently are bastardizing the heritage. So I guess we're doing something right."

Another good interview:http://www.skratchmagazine.com/interviews/interviews.php?id=102

Mountain of Sadness

2006-06-27T08:16:00.000-06:00

I think I may have posted this before, but I can't remember. This Andrew Lin dude is funny. The whole website is pretty funny. So I say, well I say check it out,

http://www.supermasterpiece.com/features/andrew/andarchive.html

ROCK ON!

Throw ups

2006-06-26T18:07:00.000-06:00

This is my wall over my drawing desk. You will see: a picture o' me

wiff, a sketch by Kagan McLeod, a boom box I made out of cardboard and

a paperclip (paper craft model!) my first comic with curtis, baxter

mutha fluffin stockman and some rad prints from www.radrobot.com 's

very own Bigtime.

This

is a poster i made for DJ Afterpants's show. He loaned me a power

rangers movie that was on my desk, so I drew it. I didn't liek the

movie so much, but i never really liked the power rangers.

this

is bazooka comics # 2, figured I'd post it. Look for it in the Campus

in september. It should be bigger but this is how it came out.

ROCK ON!

PELICAN!

2006-06-26T14:58:00.000-06:00

Dudes and Dudettes! Check out this band. I think they're pretty rad. Instrumental only, but still good. I think they could be really great with a good singer as well, but sometimes it';s nice to have no words.

http://www.myspace.com/pelican

I was reading an interview with the Dillinger Escape Plan's singer and he said they were awesome, so i was interested to find out what kind of music he was into. It worked out well.

People in underground bands usually have the down-low on other underground bands.

Rock on dudes.

p.s. also to do with Pelicans http://www.aero-news.net/index.cfm?ContentBlockID=513f9028-0e57-4571-81fa-e8961a48fff5

Da Vinci Code Essay

2006-06-22T08:44:00.000-06:00

I was looking for a blog about octopusses when I came across this. I read it and thought it was SCATHING. That's kind of fun. Thought some folks might be interested i nthe topic. I like how the guy who wrote it is so mean. : ) i included one of the comments at the end because it gave me a case of the chortles.

Enjoy religious banter. . TODAY!

April 27, 2006 The Case Against The Da Vinci Code

I cannot pretend that The Da Vinci Code is a well-written book; but if it were merely a jumble of cliches, there would be little need to write against it. The Da Vinci Code does not ask to be judged on literary merit. The first page reads: "FACT:...All descriptions of artwork, architecture, documents, and secret rituals in this novel are accurate," and Dan Brown has made it clear in interviews that he thinks he's compiled a little encyclopedia of wisdom disguised as a thriller. Certainly his fans, or at least the ones I've spoken with, believe the book is more or less true, the kind of thing we might expect from a historical novel. But Brown's history is fantasy, and the accurate texts he describes don't say what he pretends they do. I suppose it would be possible to enjoy The Da Vinci Code as a goofy chase novel, but turning to it for facts on the history of religion is like turning to a Tarzan movie for facts on African ecology. There are some good fight scenes, but now you think lions live in the jungle.
In this essay, I'm going to be pointing out some of Dan Brown's more egregious errors and fabrications. There's really no reason to take my word for any of this, but the documents Brown cites are, by and large, easily available, and I encourage everyone to read them to check who's right (www.gnosis.org is a particularly helpful resource for primary texts). I am by no means an expert, but I was a religion major in college, and I've read a few books that were not written by crackpots, so I am not wholly ignorant on the history of religion. In this way I am different from Dan Brown.
All references to page numbers are to my copy of The Da Vinci Code (NY: Doubleday, 2003). I'm trying to keep this essay as neutral and accurate as possible, so any corrections or additions are of course welcome.
Brown's main thesis (which he is unable wholly to conceal was lifted from Baigent, Leigh, and Lincoln's Holy Blood, Holy Grail, a book just as crazy but slightly less stupid than The Da Vinci Code) is that Jesus married Mary Magdalene and had a child. Brown throws in a whole bunch of distractions, such as what Leonardo Da Vinci may or may not have believed about the whole thing, which are pretty silly when you start to think about them, but it's his bloodline of Christ thesis that's the heart of the book, and it's the one I intend to look at in the most depth, since 1. it's the part that people keep citing as fact and 2. it's something I know something about, (unlike, say, Parisian architecture).
The evidence Brown presents for this thesis is laid out by annoying eccentric Sir Leigh Teabing and smug "symbologist" (semiotician was too hard to spell) Robert Langdon in an interminable lecture to the unbelievably naive Sophie Neveu that takes up most of chapters 58-61, and falls broadly into three branches: The Dead Sea Scrolls evidence, the Nag Hammadi evidence, and the "mandatory marriage" argument. So let's take them one by one.
The Dead Sea Scrolls
Brown seems to think that the Dead Sea scrolls and the documents found at Nag Hammadi both contain Gnostic gospels (p 245). I can only assume Brown never read the Dead Sea scrolls, or even read about them, and just thought the name sounded cool. The Dead Sea scrolls are not, as he claims, "the earliest Christian records" (p245) but rather the records of a Jewish group in Qumran, probably the Essenes. The records may well predate any Christian writings (the dating is not uncontroversial) but in no way can they be called gospels or Christian. Needless to say they do not mention Jesus getting married; in fact, they do not mention Jesus at all (hardly surprising in Jewish texts that may predate his ministry).
Five minutes with a book like The Complete Dead Sea Scrolls in English should convince you that Brown is stumbling in the dark. I couldn't find a comprehensive translation of the scrolls online, but gnosis.org has a selection that may not be as impressive as Teabing's "poster-sized" photocopies, but has the advantage of not being all fabrication.
What does the Gospel of Philip say?
Brown's mention of the Nag Hammadi texts--a collection of Gnostic writings discovered in Egypt in 1945--is a less puzzling, or stupid, choice. Teabing reads from the Gospel of Philip, in Brown's translation:
And the companion of the Saviour is Mary Magdalene. Christ loved her more than all the disciples and used to kiss her often on her mouth. The rest of the disciples were offended by it and expressed disapproval. They said to him, "Why do you love her more than all of us?"
Teabing adds, "As any Aramaic scholar will tell you, the word companion in those days literally meant spouse."
First thing's first. Any Aramaic scholar, when presented with the Gospel of Philip, will tell you, "I can't read this." That's because the Gospel is written in Coptic, a language unrelated to Aramaic. The word in question is a Greek loan word, koinonos. I speak neither Coptic nor Greek, but I bothered to look it up, and this word can mean companion, wife, or spiritual comrade (much as the word sister today can mean female sibling, but is also used with a different meaning by nuns, churchgoers, black women, etc.). Type koinonos and Coptic into google and you'll get the same answer from any number of sites.
This is from the translation of the Gospel of Philip I read (translated by W. W. Isenberg and available at gnosis.org):
And the companion of the [...] Mary Magdalene [...] loved her more than all the disciples, and used to kiss her on her mouth. The rest of the disciples [...]. They said to him, "Why do you love her more than any of us?"
There are several differences here--for example, this translation was made by someone who knew what language he was translating from--and a quibbler could point out that the lacunae leave open the possibility that this passage may not be about what Brown thinks it's about at all. In fact, this version of the translation has some guesswork in it, too (with words inserted from parallel passages), and a version that more completely reflects the fragmentary nature of the text is at wikipedia and reads:
And the companion of the [...] Mary Magdalene [...] more than [...] disciples [...] kiss her on her [...]. The rest of the disciples [...]. They said to him, "Why do you love her more than any of us?"
Brown does not quote Jesus' response, which comes in the form of a parable that pretty clearly means that Mary Magdalene understands his teaching better than the rest of the disciples, and that's why she's favored. This is hardly a surprising response, as Gnostic gospels often glorified marginal figures: in the Gospel of Thomas, Thomas has the deepest understanding (and therefore gets special treatment), in the Gospel of Judas, Judas does; here it's Mary Magdalene.
Please note that Jesus' response to the question "Why do you like her better than us?" was not "Because she's my wife, you schmuck."
A few side notes on the Gospel of Philip
We should note that the Gospel of Philip uses the word koinonos in one other place as well, earlier on:
There were three who always walked with the Lord: Mary, his mother, and her sister, and Magdalene, the one who was called his companion. His sister and his mother and his companion were each a Mary.
This is a confusing paragraph: Mary changes from his aunt to his sister, and Mary Magdalene is first identified as "the one who was called his companion" and then "his companion." Depending on the meaning of koinonos, it can make a big difference.
The point is, these are not clear and simple passages, as Brown would have you believe. Even the word "kiss" may not be as sexy as we think it is. We all know that Jesus and Judas kissed at least once; Romans 16:16 enjoins us to "greet one another with a holy kiss." Look up "kiss" in a biblical concordance and see how many of the references you find are sexual. Certainly we've become accustomed, in a snickering, junior high fashion, to interpreting nonsexual relationships as sexual. "Just think about it," we say while high fiving each other, "Bert and Ernie are totally gay!" It's very easy for us to misinterpret the behaviors of a past not too long gone, a time in which straight people of the same sex used to sleep in the same bed, like Laurel and Hardy, and think nothing of it. The sexual mores of two thousand years ago might be even harder to parse correctly.
Here's what the Gospel of Philip itself has to say about kissing:
For it is by a kiss that the perfect conceive and give birth. For this reason we also kiss one another. We receive conception from the grace which is in one another.
This may not be clear out of context, so here's the complete "saying."
The heavenly man has many more sons than the earthly man. If the sons of Adam are many, although they die, how much more the sons of the perfect man, they who do not die but are always begotten. The father makes a son, and the son has not the power to make a son. For he who has been begotten has not the power to beget, but the son gets brothers for himself, not sons. All who are begotten in the world are begotten in a natural way, and the others are nourished from the place whence they have been born. It is from being promised to the heavenly place that man receives nourishment. [...] him from the mouth. And had the word gone out from that place, it would be nourished from the mouth and it would become perfect. For it is by a kiss that the perfect conceive and give birth. For this reason we also kiss one another. We receive conception from the grace which is in one another.
I suppose a Da Vinci Code apologist could claim that this paragraph sets up a relationship between kissing and paternity, but, really, I think it's clear that we're talking here about spiritual birth, and the power to be reborn by hearing words (or the Word); and spiritual kissing as well.
In The Da Vinci Code, at this point, "Teabing flipped through the book [of Gnostic Gospels] and pointed out several other passages that...clearly suggested Magdalene and Jesus had a romantic relationship" (p246). Brown quotes the best one that I've found, from the Gospel of Mary Magdalene (which was among neither the Nag Hammadi nor the Dead Sea finds): "Peter said to Mary, Sister we know that the Savior loved you more than the rest of woman" (5:5), which isn't much. Note that in the Papyrus Oxyrhynchus 3525 fragment of the Gospel of Mary Magdalene, Mary Magdalene kisses all the disciples, but not Jesus (I couldn't find the fragment online, but Karen King's translation appears in her book The Gospel of Mary of Magdala). I'd like to see these several other passages. They can't be all that clear, or Brown would have quoted them instead of the vague and murky section of Philip.
But although Philip is vague and murky, it is Brown's best evidence. Although the reconstruction of the text he gives is (as we saw above) hardly certain, I think it's a pretty plausible reconstruction. And although his is hardly the only way to interpret the Gospel of Philip, it's a possible longshot interpretation. Unlike most of the things Brown says, which are stupid or crazy, it is indeed possible that the text of the Gospel of Philip points to a "romantic relationship" between Jesus and Mary Magdalene. The question at this point becomes: Why should we care what the Gospel of Philip says?
How old is Philip anyway?
Brown has a ready answer: Philip is one of the "unaltered" gospels. It's one of "the earliest Christian records," remember? Brown needs us to believe that all other documents in history are fakes, and one he has arbitrarily designated is the only one that's true.
Experts who know more than I date the Gospel of Philip to the late third century. It might be earlier, but no one thinks it's much earlier. The canonical gospels as we know them, everyone agrees, all date from the first century, except perhaps John, which a minority of scholars put in the opening years of the second. Now, when I refer to experts and scholars, I am referring to secular scholars. These are not people with an axe to grind, these are not Christians looking to shill for a religion. The Vatican did not "get to them," although it might be convenient for Brown to believe it has. That's because either the vast majority of secular scholarship is wrong or Brown is. Could it be that Brown alone knows the true dates of composition of these texts?
The Gnostic gospels could not possibly predate the canonical gospels because Gnosticism as a school of thought did not exist until after the canonical gospels had been written. The only so-called Gnostic gospel with any claim to priority is the Gospel of Thomas. It's a fascinating document, but 1. it's probably not as old as people first thought it to be and 2. it doesn't support any of Brown's claims anyway.
Dating ancient manuscripts is always controversial, but wikipedia supports the claims about Philip I've made above.
But perhaps you don't want to believe the experts. Perhaps you prefer to come to conclusions on your own. Then just read the Gospel of Philip and then get a bible and read one of gospels you find there. I think you'll find that that Gospel of Philip keeps referring to the Gospels in order to contradict them. For example, Philip has:
Some said, "Mary conceived by the Holy Spirit." They are in error. They do not know what they are saying. When did a woman ever conceive by a woman. Mary is the woman whom no power defiled. She is a great anathema to the Hebrews, who are the apostles and the apostolic men. This virgin whom no power defiled [...] the powers defiled themselves. And the Lord would not have said "My Father who is in Heaven" unless he had another father, but would have said simply "My father."
Or again:
Those who say that the Lord died first and [then] rose up are in error, for he rose up first and [then] died.
In both these cases, Philip mentions, and presupposes, an existing order of belief, which can be found in the canonical gospels. The canonical gospels don't refer to Philip, while Philip actually quotes Matthew in the first extract. Philip is written in reaction to the canon. Doesn't this imply that Philip comes later?
And really, I defy anyone to read the Gnostic gospels and the canonical gospels and conclude the Gnostic gospels came first. The canonical gospels are introductory texts: anyone could pick one up and come away with a pretty good idea of what Jesus' ministry was about. The Gnostic gospels (and I'm referring not just to Philip here, but Philip is a prime example) require a prior knowledge of a complicated philosophical system. One is narrative, the other is commentary. When the Gnostic gospels do offer a narrative, we get something like The Infancy Gospel of Thomas, a narrative designed to fill in the blanks left by the bible.
I suppose it's possible that Constantine somehow managed to doctor all the relevant documents so skillfully that he made the old look new and the new look old--but how likely is that? And why have we never found, among the caches of "unaltered" gospels, actual unaltered gospels? Where's the version of John where the wedding of Canna has Mary Magdalene walking down the aisle? Where's the version of Luke where Jesus says "Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bare...except in the case of my wife"? If the Gospels of Philip and Thomas and Mary Magdalene and now Judas survived hidden in the desert, why not these?
The "earliest Christian records," incidentally, are the letters of Paul. I don't think anyone, except Dan Brown, believes otherwise.
By the way, we don't know for sure that the Nicene Council was in the habit of altering any books (as Brown accuses them); we do know, however, that the Gnostics were: at Nag Hammadi was also found a copy of Plato's Republic that had been modified to jibe with Gnostic doctrine. This is hardly the behavior you want from your best witness.
Sir Leigh Teabing was still talking, "I shan't bore you with the countless references to Jesus and Magdalene's union. That has been explored as nauseum by modern historians" (p247).
Brown loves to assure us he has innumerable sources without mentioning what those sources are. And these aren't even primary sources, these are "modern historians." Teabing eventually (p253) coughs up four titles: Picknett & Prince's The Templar Revelation (1998), Margaret Starbird's The Woman with the Alabaster Jar (1993) and The Goddess in the Gospels (1998), and Baigent, Leigh, and Lincoln's seminal Holy Blood, Holy Grail (1983). It's a little dodgy that, with a mere four titles to produce, Brown came up with two by the same author, but I guess he was hard up to come up with four (although you wouldn't know Starbird (probably not her real name) has two books on the list from The Da Vinci Code, which gives titles but not authors to conceal Brown's desperation). None of the texts listed are scholarly articles appearing in peer-reviewed journals. All are fringe books written by non-experts. If you believe in Atlantis or the power of crystals, you'll want these books on your shelf. Imagine walking into a self-styled Egyptologist's house, and the first three books he pulls out are New Age "pyramid power" paperbacks from the 'seventies, while the fourth is by Aleister Crowley.
The first three books named have something else in common: they were are all inspired by the fourth, and their research draws heavily on it for both guidance and authority. They are essentially commentaries on Holy Blood, Holy Grail.
The work that started it all, Holy Blood, Holy Grail is an all-around better book than The Da Vinci Code, by which I mean it is better written, there's no tacked on love story, and the crazy claims are less overtly stupid. Everything interesting in The Da Vinci Code, (with the exception of the parts on Fibonacci numbers, which presumably come from a children's book) comes from Holy Blood, Holy Grail. "I've never heard of it," Brown makes Sophie say, rather cattily. But the authors of Holy Blood, Holy Grail have sure heard of The Da Vinci Code, and recently sued Brown for swiping their theories, a strange thing to do when you're ostensibly dealing in objective facts. If you're going to read just one crazy conspiracy book this year and you're sick of rereading Foucault's Pendulum, try Holy Blood, Holy Grail. But Brown can't really cite it as a valid historical source; he might as well cite Chariots of the Gods or, for that matter, Preacher comics.
Frankly, the line from the Gospel of Philip quoted above--"The father makes a son, and the son has not the power to make a son"--may not be the clearest statement, but it is still a clearer statement that Jesus had no son than any Brown has conjured up to prove he had.
In summary: The Dead Sea Scrolls do not say Jesus was married. One late text from the fifty-two found at Nag Hammadi may or may not suggest in an obscure passage that Jesus was married; it postdated the canonical gospels by two centuries; it mentions no children.
All Jews got married, right?
"Because Jesus was a Jew," Langdon said... "and the social decorum during that time virtually forbid [sic] a Jewish man to be unmarried. According to Jewish custom, celibacy was condemned... [etc.]" (p245).
We've already seen that Dan Brown never bothered to read, or even watch a TV documentary about, the Dead Sea Scrolls. Maybe if he had, he would have learned about the Essenes, a celibate group of Jews who may have produced these scrolls. Here's Philo of Alexandria, writing in the first half of the first century, on the Essenes:
Furthermore they eschew marriage because they clearly discern it to be the sole or the principal danger to the maintenance of the communal life, as well as because they particularly practise continence. For no Essene takes a wife...[etc.] (Fragment of the Apology for the Jews, XI).
It should be noted that many scholars have theorized that Jesus may have been influenced by the Essenes. When they bring this up they're usually talking about Jesus' thought on the end times or Satan, but if he was going to pick up these thoughts from them, why not their thoughts on marriage, too?
Furthermore, in On the Contemplative Life, III, Philo speaks of another group of Jews who seek after wisdom and therefore habitually do not marry. This doesn't seem to be a separate sect this time, but just an expected characteristic of very religious Jews. (Details such as the celibacy of the Essenses are also mentioned in Josephus, so it's not like Philo is our only primary source for all this; he's just the only primary source I've read.) I don't know of any Philo sites online, but these quotes come from Three Jewish Philosophers (pp51 & 45 respectively). Philo is a contemporary of Jesus', and the picture he draws of Jewish marriage is very different from Brown's.
Brown's argument would be a strange one even if it were not demonstrably false. You can't really argue, "Jesus wouldn't have done that, it's not the mainstream for Judaism," when, clearly, many of Jesus' teachings are so far outside the mainstream of Judaism that in a few years his followers were no longer even Jews.
Meanwhile, Teabing is still talking:
If Jesus were not married, at least one of the Bible's gospels would have mentioned it and offered some explanation for his unnatural state of bachelorhood (p245).
Now, according to Brown's conspiracy theory, the canonical gospels are mock-ups designed to delude their readers into thinking Jesus was not married. Isn't it strange that the Nicene Council, when they were busy removing the innumerable hypothetical passages on Jesus' marriage from the gospels, never bothered to stick in a "P.S. Jesus never married and has no son"? After all, that was their whole reason for making the changes.
The bible makes no direct references to Jesus' marital state one way or the other, but have a look at 1 Corinthians 9:5:
Don't we have the right to take a believing wife along with us, as do the other apostles and the Lord's brothers and Cephas?
Cephas is another name for Peter (see John 1:42). If you're going to name someone admirable who is married, don't you think you'd mention Jesus before his brothers and Peter? Wouldn't that be the thing to do if Jesus were married? Bear in mind that this example comes from the earliest Christian records.
The secret society
The holy grail, in Dan Brown's mind, is a collection of documents that overthrows the council of Nicea and proves, among other things, that Jesus was married with children, and that he was not divine, but a mortal. This collection has spent nearly two thousand years in hiding. Why is it hiding?
Brown has an answer, of course. It is that the Catholic Church would destroy the documents, should they get their hands on them. It's a movie-ready scenario: the persecuted underdog that knows the truth has to go underground to save itself from the nigh-omnipotent System. There's something wrong with this scenario, however: the Catholic Church is not the only game in town.
The year is 325. The Grail keepers (the Priory of Sion wasn't founded until 1099 (p157), so I can't call them that yet) have proof that Jesus was a mortal, but they can't reveal the documents in Catholic lands. As it happens, there's a large sect of Christians, called Arians, who also believe that Jesus was mortal. Two centuries after Nicea supposedly silenced all dissent, Arian churches control all of Spain and Italy, much of Germany, and parts of North Africa. Maybe these guys would want to see the documents. You know, the documents that prove they're right and prove the Catholics (only nominally Roman Catholics at this point: Rome is Arian) are wrong. Yet there's no indication that this was ever done.
But Arianism dies out, so perhaps the Grail keepers just missed their window of opportunity. And yet, to the east, there remain Nestorian Christians. Nestorians believe that Christ had a human and a divine nature, and keep the two theologically separate; if the Grail keepers have documents that prove Christ's mortal state, maybe the Nestorians would want to look at them. These would be an invaluable to them, not only in asserting Christ's mortal nature, but also in sticking it to those Catholics who have decreed all Nestorians heretics. Nestorians still exist today throughout Central Asia and into China; if they'd ever been given copies of these documents, none survive.
Starting in 362, the Roman Empire briefly became pagan again under the Emperor Julian. Julian hated Christians, and wrote a famous screed, Against the Gallileans, condemning them. A generous portion of this work, like much of Julian's writing, survives. Julian was born just six years after the Nicene cover-up would have started; but in all of his writings, including what might be the most damning sustained attack on Christianity until Nietzsche started in, he never once mentions the pre-Nicene beliefs that would have still been in living memory. You'd think he would.
(Julian even directly contradicts Brown by declaring that not Constantine but John the Evangelist contrived the myth that Jesus was divine.)
History has preserved neo-Platonic attacks on Christianity and Jewish attacks on Christianity and Christian attacks on Christianity, yet none of them mention the bloodline of Christ.
There have been hundreds and hundreds of Christian heresies. Pelagianism, Patripassionism, Tritheism, Donatism, Montanism--we know about them, and, although the church was certainly at great pains to suppress their belief, it didn't do it by extinguishing the memory of their existence. We can read about heresies in Augustine and Tertullian and Origen--in fact, we can read them all at gnosis.org. You'll note that the orthodox writers here often choose to describe the heresy before they refute it. None of them mention the bloodline of Christ.
What makes this one heresy so special that it needs to be treated differently, not refuted but forgotten? What makes the idea that Jesus had a child more threatening to the church than the idea that Jesus didn't die on the cross, or that he was just another prophet?
You know what it's really hard to keep for two millennia? A secret. Especially when the members of the Priory of Sion keep dropping hints, as Leonardo is supposed to be doing in his paintings, or Disney in his movies. And has any secret society ever existed for two thousand years? It's hard enough to find human institutions that have lasted two thousand years (although of course they do exist), let alone secret institutions.
Needless to say, the first thing secret societies do when they start is invent a history. The Freemasons really have been around for centuries, but their mythology has them existing for millennia. The history of the Priory of Sion, most non-thriller writers believe, is a hoax. At this point we should all read Umberto Eco's opening essay from Interpretation and Overinterpretation.
Those darn men!
Even when he departs from his favorite topic, Brown's grasp of history is a joke. He writes:
[The church's] brutal crusade to "reeducate" the pagan and feminine-worshipping religions spanned three centuries, employing methods as inspired as they were horrific.
The Catholic Inquisition published the book that arguably could be called the most blood-soaked publication in human history. Malleus Maleficarum--or The Witches' Hammer--indoctrinated the clergy how to locate, torture, and destroy them. ...During three hundred years of witch hunts, the Church burned at the stake an astounding five million women. (p125)
Now, nobody wants to defend the Inquisition, but Brown's indictment is a muddle. The Malleus Maleficarum was published (not by the Inquisition) in 1487; it was in this era that witch hunts as we know them started. Are we really supposed to believe that Europe was chock full of pagans in the fifteenth century? What three hundred years is he referring to here? Incidentally, the Malleus Maleficarum, while indisputably an influential book, was, according to wikipedia, in fact condemned by the Inquisition in 1490.
Also, I'd like to see Brown's source for that five million figure. Best bets are either he made it up or got it from a Blue Moon and Stars catalog.
Brown continues: "The male ego had spent two millennia running unchecked by its female counterpart" and now "today's world" is marked by testosterone-fueled wars, a plethora of misogynistic societies, and a growing disrespect for Mother Earth" (pp126-7). Now I hate the modern world as much as anyone, but what kind of fairyland does Dan Brown live in that he thinks the pagan world lacked wars, "testosterone-fueled" or otherwise? The classical pagan virtues are warrior virtues after all. (As for the rest of it: I can't even figure out what misogynistic societies he's talking about--the Rotarians? the Playboy Club?--and in what conceivable way is disrespect for "Mother Earth" "growing"? The phrase "Mother Earth," like the ecology movement and the movie Ferngully: The Last Rainforest, didn't even exist fifty years ago.)
Brown's not completely wrong here: there really were witch hunts and the church really did suppress and supplant paganism. But he's so naturally lazy and mendacious that he can't help but bungle the facts and get mixed up in meaningless Cosmo rhetoric.
Also
While we're at it, phi does not equal 1.618 (p93) any more than pi equals 3.141. It's an irrational number, Would it kill him to look this stuff up?
And finally, there's the claim: "In ancient Greek, wisdom is spelled S-O-F-I-A" (p321). No; no it isn't.
In conclusion
Dan Brown, like most con artists, preys upon the ignorance of his victims. Since he's writing about subjects most people don't know much about, he feels free to make things up and pass it all off as history. There's about as much evidence that Jesus was married with children as there is that he had a peg leg.
It's probably the case that Brown's primary error is not one of fact but of interpretation. The fact that he's willing to make things up to justify his theories merely makes him unscrupulous and amoral--his real problem is that he doesn't know how to analyze any of the facts he has. Everything falls into place for him because he never stops to think whether a possible connection is probable.
If every time you see a circle you see a "feminine circle of protection" (p45), you're going to see a lot of feminine symbols; if you don't realize that circles can mean other things, too, you're going to be misinterpreting some things. Sophie claims skill in "extracting meaning from seemingly senseless data" (p78); but sometimes data is senseless, like a Rorschach blot, and what you're extracting from it is not meaning. "Of course, the Little Mermaid's flowing red hair was certainly no coincidence either" (p262). Of course.
I leave this to a hermaneuticist; our concern here is with historical facts as best we can determine them. Don't take the word of a charlatan with a bad prose style. Read the texts he ineptly tries to cite; read some background by real scholars (I recommend Elaine Pagels's The Gnostic Gospels).
Make sure to read my upcoming essays, "Why We Love The Da Vinci Code" and "Infelicity and Cliche: Style in The Da Vinci Code" (featuring sentences like: "The epithet, despite sounding flattering, was really quite to the contrary" (p157).
And if you're really desperate to believe an implausible conspiracy theory disguised as a novel, try Illuminatus!, which is a great book and has John Dillinger in it. Anything but The Da Vinci

Code.posted by halifax :: email :: 04:10 AM

Comments: The Case Against The Da Vinci Code
Jesus had a peg leg?!
What a scoop!

posted by N. at April 27, 2006 10:38 AM [+] 205

JOE DUNN

2006-06-20T10:57:00.000-06:00

is a funny dude.

Check out Joe Loves Crappy Movies for quality movie reviews and funny comics that go with 'em.

HTML ATTEMPT!

<a href=http://www.digitalpimponline.com/strips.php?title=movie>CLick?<a/>

or this

http://www.digitalpimponline.com/strips.php?title=movie

Fun Image Dump

2006-06-20T10:54:00.000-06:00

Perusing the nerd-web I came across these pictures that made me think that sharing was fun.

HAHA! Home taping.

Oh Roband Elliot, so many laffs, so many good times.

The enviable Mike Giant. Very cool.

Rock and roll folks!

My freakin head

2006-06-14T15:04:00.000-06:00

Made this is paint, looks better if you squint at it. Or maybe stand across the room. The eyes are problematic. Paint only has three spray paint sizes, none of them any good for details. Otherwise i'm kind of impressed with myself.

Zoot zoot.

More amazing art

2006-06-14T12:47:00.000-06:00

Possibly my best work.

Due to Photobucket's inadequacies ...

2006-06-14T08:15:00.000-06:00

This comic was not represented with it's hilarious brethren. Enjoy.

Mark Jenkins is still rad.

2006-06-14T08:13:00.000-06:00

This is the same guy who made those tape babies I blogged about a long while back. This is a tape man, dressed up and somehow embedded into the wall. So cool.

http://xmarkjenkinsx.com/embed.html

Unchained melody

2006-06-13T14:32:00.000-06:00

Oh boredom, you are a cruel mistress.

Film: The Break-UpAfter I was bitten by a radioactive walrus, I began to notice strange things happening to my body. I gained a lot of weight, my front teeth grew out over my lower lip into huge tusks and I could sense the presence of killer whales and sharks. After a few months of training a preperation I asked out Jennifer Aniston. She said yes and I was able to enjoy her new waxing you get to see in the Break Up. Thank god for my new tusks. Vince Vaughn is a pretty funny dude, but their relationship won't last (no tusks you see). The ending of the movie was a little anti climactic and a car chase would have been nice.Rock and roll.( 7/10 )

Film: The Da Vinci CodeThree things in the Da Vinci code confused me:1) Why is the Green Lantern's weakness the colour yellow?2) Why do they call him Silent Bob anyway?3) Why didn't Tom Hanks do it with Jesus' totally hot great great great great great grandaughter? I would've. Like when he got old in Big and did it with that 30 something chick. Hells yes.Rock and roll.( 6/10 )

Film: X-Men 3: The Last StandThe other day I was huffing chainsaw oil in a couche tard bag behind the hospital and I had an epiphany. Famke Janssen is the last scion. How do I know this? The arch angel Gabriel came down to see me in a dream. He had a green scooter and Dr. Scholls sandals. It was wacky. We drank Cream Soda and ate Combos. There was no end to his indecipherable comments about X-Men. His favourite X-Man is Nighcrawler. I can understand that. he's a pretty rad dude.The moral of this story is: Sharing is Ok but taking things from poor people is probably more likely to happen (if you're a rich dude) Gnarly movie, lots of ka-booms and I laffed a couple times. Way better than cats.( 9/10 )

Talkin bout a Revolution

2006-06-12T16:48:00.000-06:00

If you would like to read a book about living for free off of suburban excesses, stealing, squatting and dumpster diving. . you should. If you think you might enjoy a novel that makes you want to jump o nthe next passing train and see where it goes and when you get there, steal. . .mayhaps you should read this book. I have to warn you how tempting it will be when you read it.

Here you go.

http://www.rorta.net/textfiles/evasion.pdf

Enjoy.

Nacho Libre

2006-06-12T15:53:00.000-06:00

I'm keen to see Nacho Libre when it comes out. iread and article that mentioned that it was based (loosely) off of a true story. This piqued my curiousity. So, here is the real story. it's pretty cool.

Masked Warriors In Mexico
EL UNIVERSALEL GRAN DIARIO DE MEXICO

Universal Journal
Masked warrior in the grip of God

SCRIPPS HOWARD NEWS SERVICE

TEOTIHUACAN, State of Mexico -- In the pantheon of Mexico's wrestling champions, few fighters can claim to have been heroes outside the ring as well as within it. Fray Tormenta won the loyalty of thousands of fans in a career which spanned 23 years and more than 4,000 bouts.
Like most Mexican wrestlers, Fray Tormenta ("Friar Storm" in Spanish) fought incognito, concealing his true identity beneath a golden cape, a yellow leotard with "FT" emblazoned in red across his chest, and a red and yellow mask.
The disguise allowed Tormenta to maintain one of the best-guarded secrets of the underworld of Mexican wrestling, a pantomime embodying all that is good and evil, tragic and comic. In real life, Fray Tormenta is a priest, who took up wrestling to raise money for his home for abandoned children.
His name is the Rev. Sergio Gutierrez Benitez, and he lives in Teotihuacan, a village outside Mexico City which was once a pilgrimage site for Aztec kings.
Father Sergio was organizing the afternoon's activities at the orphanage. He is a small, bespectacled, energetic man, at once stern and affectionate towards the 80 boys in his care. In his dog collar and immaculate white shirt, he was unrecognizable as the wrestler who felled opponents with double somersaults, boots colliding against chests in mid-air, and pinned rivals to the ground with crippling arm locks. Only his broad torso, still powerful at the age of 53, betrayed a lifetime of athletic training.
What had driven Father Sergio to lead a double-life: a priest by day, a masked wrestler by night, and how he had managed to keep it secret for so long.
"It is simple," he began. "No one would have taken me seriously as a wrestler had they known I was a priest. The fans, the impresarios, thought my nom de guerre was a joke, like all the other characters we impersonate in the ring. No one believed there was a real priest concealed behind the mask of Fray Tormenta."
Wrestling, he said, had been a lifelong passion. The priesthood came later.
Father Sergio grew up in a rough neighborhood in Mexico City, where wrestling was more popular than soccer, and a means of self-defense.
He was one of 18 children, and his parents had little money for education. He drifted to the port of Veracruz, hung out with pimps and prostitutes, and became hooked on drugs.
"The day I hit rock bottom, I went to see a priest for help. He chased me out of the church. I was so angry, so incensed, I thought there ought to be better priests in this world to help people like me."
But he was accepted by a Spanish order dedicated to teaching. He was 22. His theological training took him to Rome, and then Spain, and for a while he taught philosophy and history at Roman Catholic universities in Mexico. But he had still not found his true vocation.
A chance encounter with a street urchin, sleeping rough under a bridge in Veracruz, moved Father Sergio to ask his superiors' permission to found an orphanage. It was denied. So he left the Scholastic Order and joined the diocese of Texcoco, where the bishop and villagers of Teotihuacan raised funds for Father Sergio's home.
But money was always running out. No child was ever turned away, even when Father Sergio had no idea where the next meal would come from.
"I became a professional wrestler because I had a cause. If it weren't for my children, there would have been no reason to fight," he explains.
Like most poor boys who dream of becoming wrestling champions, Father Sergio thought he would earn millions if he became a prizefighter. He endured dislocated arms, a broken nose, three cracked ribs and several mangled fingers, but never made a fortune, in spite of a career that took him to Japan 14 times and to the US 70 times.
"The most I was ever paid was 5,000 dollars for a bout in Japan," he says, "but I am no longer disappointed. My boys are fed and clothed.
They have all gone to school. One is now a doctor, three are lawyers, 12 are computer analysts and 16 are schoolteachers." His kids, he says, are his proudest achievement.
It was easy to conceal his true identity. Mexico, he says, is a country of masks. "Whether out of fear or self-protection, we rarely present our true face to the world. Mexicans are secretive by nature. Our formality is a shield against scrutiny. We use masks all the time."
Mexicans also have a passion for masked heroes. At school, every child learns how Aztec warriors disguised themselves as jaguars and eagles to fight Spain's conquistadors. Following the earthquake which devastated Mexico City in 1985, Super-Barrio (Super-Neighborhood), Mexico's answer to Superman, emerged from the rubble to lead a successful protest movement which forced the government to build new housing for the capital's homeless.
In wrestling, as in guerrilla war, the mask bestows an aura of invincibility. A wrestler's disguise heightens his mystique.Conversely, there is no greater humiliation than to lose one's mask in a fight. Mexico's greatest wrestlers count their trophies in the number of rivals they have unmasked, like Mohican warriors with their scalps.
Fray Tormenta's unmasking was less dramatic, and carried none of the humiliation of defeat in the ring.
He was celebrating mass one Sunday in Teotihuacan. A fellow wrestler, who calls himself "Hurricane," happened to be in the congregation. He thought he recognized Father Sergio's voice, and his build matched Fray Tormenta's, a frequent opponent. After mass, Hurricane approached Father Sergio.
"So you really are a priest," he exclaimed, and the secret was out.
Fray Tormenta continued to fight for a few more years. His fans, and the donations to his orphanage, multiplied. In February, however, doctors diagnosed diabetes and a heart ailment, and advised him to retire from wrestling.
On the last Friday night in May, the Arena Mexico, the mecca of Mexican wrestling, was packed for Fray Tormenta's emotional farewell.
The Last Dragon, Mr Fog, Blue Panther, Black Warrior and the Saint, some of the greatest wrestlers of all time, came to pay their respects. So did the entire congregation of Teotihuacan.
The lights dimmed, bells tolled, and Fray Tormenta strode into the arena to climb on to the ring for the last time.
"Life," he said, quoting a Mexican proverb, "is but a brief masquerade. It teaches us to laugh with tears in our eyes, and to conceal our sorrow with laughter."

Sticks and stone remix part 2

2006-05-30T07:44:00.000-06:00

The sitcks and stones guy is doing another remix contest. This is my submission. I had to do it in paint so the text cuts off soem pieces but i still think it's funny.

ROCK ON!

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

2006-05-23T11:56:00.000-06:00

This comic is super funny. Laffs galore! Enjoy!

www.smbc-comics.com

Not a nectarine at all but a HUMAN HEAD!

2006-05-18T13:59:00.000-06:00

http://www.cco.net/~jpete/deepthou.htm

Uses for wood screws and the like. Screaming trees (all the time for no good reason).

CHOP CHOP.

{ n o h a r m d o n e }

Brazilian Stonehenge

2006-05-16T08:44:00.000-06:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4767717.stm

Logic states that piled rocks in line with the stars can only mean one thing. . .

ALIENS! (or maybe something to do with witchcraft and king prawns with little swords)

All hail our alien overlords!

Two (possibly 3) Unrelated Things

2006-05-10T14:45:00.000-06:00

Yo, this is a picture possibly generated by computers. Iforget where I got it from, I just know it looks rad and the bottom one is very cubist and I really like cubism.

This is a cool positive action site about not co-operating with a war mongering gov't that i thought sounded like a really good idea.

http://notyoursoldier.org/links.php

If you go to www.ratm.com there's a book list that i thought was rad. on the inlay card for the album Evil Empire by Rage against the machine there's a picture of all kinds of wicked revolutionary books. I was always keen to read those books. On the "reading list" portion of the website it has links to purchase all of those books and more. Some are even free to read online. I read most of "What Uncle Sam Really Wants" by Noam Chomsky the other day it was a pretty crazy eye opener. Friggin intense. So check it out. Prints not dead, that's just what the future wants you to think.

Album of the week (aka the last 7 years of my life) The Refused : "The Shape of Punk to Come" (their album name was actually a very accurate prediction. Well somewhat, a lot of bands aped their new sound but none really nailed it quite as amazingly as they did. Actually I'd say this album is a main shaping factor of the last decade of hardcore/punk music much like Operation ivy was a shaping factor of the punk rock / ska genre a decade before. oddly enough two bands who broke up then changed everything with little fanfare or recognition. )

My new Favourite Group

2006-05-09T13:58:00.000-06:00

Now these guys. . . are cool. PANACHE!

German 'Robin Hoods' give poor a taste of the high life

ALLAN HALL IN BERLIN

A GANG of anarchist Robin Hood-style thieves, who dress as superheroes and steal expensive food from exclusive restaurants and delicatessens to give to the poor, are being hunted by police in the German city of Hamburg.
The gang members seemingly take delight in injecting humour into their raids, which rely on sheer numbers and the confusion caused by their presence. After they plundered Kobe beef fillets, champagne and smoked salmon from a gourmet store on the exclusive Elbastrasse, they presented the cashier with a bouquet of flowers before making their getaway.
The latest robbery is part of a pattern over the past several months, suggesting that the thieves deliberately set out to highlight what they perceive as the inequality inherent in German society.
However, the authorities do not agree. Bodo Franz, a police spokesman, said: "They get off feeling they are just like Robin Hood. There are about 30 in the group. But whatever their motives, they are thieves, plain and simple."
Carsten Sievers, the manager of a luxury supermarket in the wealthy Blankenese area of Hamburg, recently watched the robbers run off with trolleys full of expensive foodstuffs, including Kobe beef which, at more than £100 a pound, is always on their illicit shopping list.
In another recent swoop, the gang emptied a groaning buffet table in a top restaurant into sacks, while one of their number held up a sign saying. "The fat years are over" - the title of a hit film currently doing the rounds in Germany.
In internet statements, the gang have made a point of saying their booty is distributed to Hartz IV recipients - the poorest of Germany's long-term unemployed. The benefit is named after the disgraced Volkswagen personnel director Peter Hartz who, before he lost his job with the car-maker in a prostitutes-and-bribes scandal, devised the new means-testing which is loathed and derided by society's most economically challenged.
When the gang robbed the gourmet store in April - triggering a massive police investigation that cost £20,000 in taxpayers' money without an arrest being made - they left a note behind saying: "Without the abilities of the superheroes to help them, it would be impossible for ordinary people to survive in the city of the millionaires."
Police say they are concentrating their investigation on a loose collective of anarchists and malcontents called "Hamburg in Vain", to which they believe the superheroes belong. But they admit there is a certain panache and skill about their robberies.
The gang are also behind black market cinema tickets which they distribute free to the poor, and they have printed leaflets telling passengers how to dodge ticket inspectors on the city's underground and buses.
Mr Franz said: "They try to make crime fun but are politically motivated."

Rock on!
Chris

jASON sHO gREEN

2006-05-09T08:32:00.000-06:00

This made me giggle. www.youyesyou.net

The internet is still a weird place

2006-05-09T08:30:00.000-06:00

A man in a baby suit.

Replicas of the two atom bombs dropped on Japan. Little Boy and Fat Man.

Just plain awesome.

"I'D DO IT AGAIN IF I HAD THE CHANCE! DON'T TRY AND STOP ME!"

For some more unrelated rad pictures, the artist of the day is. . ..

http://ptoledano.com

If you're pressed for time I recommend the Architechure series of photos.

Supposed 4th picture

2006-05-08T15:18:00.000-06:00

In your face photobucket!

Bill the Cat is so rad. (see outland cartoon/comics Berke Breathed, opus and Bill etc.)

Whole Sort of General Mish Mash

2006-05-08T15:17:00.000-06:00

Random blog dump for enjoyability and some colour. Haven't posted any pictures in awhile.

A painty doodle for a brain breather:

Nicest car ever. (1949 Mercury, chopped and dropped) Someday when I'm a zillionaire i'll get one and get it made electric or soemthing for cruising. Or i'll just be able to afford crazy expensive gas and drive it real fast.

Cool tattoo I lifted from Mike Giant's blog over on Fecal Face. "The Hard way is the best way."

This was supposed to be soemthing else. Stupid computers.

Rock and roll folks!

More Haikus. . .

2006-05-02T11:54:00.000-06:00

Thanks to the beautiful and charming "Ryan Chappell" (that's for google searches) I have been directed here: http://www.haikucircus.com/index.htm

He also suggested these slogans that i enjoyed:

DE is more equal than others
DE is not a pipe
DE eshews obfuscation

and this made me laugh:

Also on the subject of Japan, check out this Engrish text that came with one of my computer heatsinks:

5. The Nipples MUST be tightened by hand. Using tools to tighten the nipples may break the tip of the nipples.

I am convinced of the wisdom of this statement.

He also sent me these links (OH YES RYAN GOOD FRIEND GOOD FRIEND MANY TREASURES!!)
Robot that is super strong for crushing puny hu-mans. .. err I mean rescuing people. .
http://www.dottocomu.com/b/archives/000744.html

Or maybe you're into Battletech.Robotech/Mechwarrior stuff, peep these lego cool things.
http://www.geocities.com/mecha_hall_of_fame/index2.html

or maybe you're hard up for a girlfriend and you have a real doll that you wish could walk around and do stuff:
http://www.newlaunches.com/archives/the_first_female_robot.php

SOoooo ROBOTS ROBOTS CHEESECAKE.

Everyone say: "Thank you Ryan for finding cool things about robots from 5 kilometres below the surface of the earth."

Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs,
Chris

Cute?

2006-04-27T13:04:00.000-06:00

This company http://www.sweetdreamssecurity.com/ , makes security objects cute. Much like this razor wire made out of butterflies and broken glass topped fences that look like glass sculpture and heart shaped chains, teddy bear locks and kooky character pointed fence tops.

Aesthetically speaking, i like it, I mean I'd rather see sculpture than soem broken glass and razor wire but the subtext on stuff liek this isn't very happy. It's like it's passing off suspicion mistrust and protection of property causing bodily harm as cuteness.

Mixed emotions at best. Interesting though.

T-Shirt Slogans

2006-04-26T09:13:00.000-06:00

Sam and the band came up with these slogans for shirts. These are my favourites from the list. I also have like 20 of these at home that I was going to make into buttons.

1-Doppelganger Effekt significantly changed my life
2-DE ruined my life
10-DE knows the 5-point exploding heart technique
11-DE defeated Gamera and Mothra
13-DE uses sex as a weapon
17-DE is all afterpants
19-DE is the difference between right and wrong
21-DE may contain traces of peanuts
23-DE wears short shorts

Rock on dudes, for the rest see sam's blog www.fangoriousleap.blogspot.com and vote if you feel inclined I suppose.

Haiku Corner

2006-04-25T09:14:00.000-06:00

We had a useless training the other day for an hour. I wrote these haikus and drew a bunch of doodles. Doodles to come sometime, I’ve been having computer problems at home. Anyone know if the place on campus is any good? Cheap, hopefully? Open during the summer, hopefully?

burning sensation
last night was a mistake
what sexy cacti

outlook on sausage
breakfast is a special time
to think of killing

i made a boo boo
please shoot me shoot me shoot me
makes me long for death

there was a scphincter
limp flabby effusive
aren’t you in love

so many tingles
beebly beebly boo
he is so handsome

i don’t want you to
see what i am doing
with this octopus

these links may excite you as much as they excite me:

www.nemomatic.com
www.irononresistance.com

PISSARRO!

2006-04-21T10:49:00.000-06:00

Howdy, I jsut sent in my last final paper and am now officially finished the semester. Zoom. I did it on Pissarro and he was a pretty rad guy. I'd never heard of him before. I encourage everyone to check him out. Get a book to look through though, the pics o nthe interwub don't really do him justice.

here's my essay, edited by the one and only :

Etienne "CRUSHING EDITORIAL PROWESS "Domingue

Rock on and enjoy

Pissarro's Paris Series Paintings as Art, Not Commodities

The final decade of Camille Pissarro’s life was an eventful one. During this period he created more than three hundred different paintings of urban scenes in and around Paris. While in the city he experienced some great hardships including: the death of a friend (Caillebotte), the death of a son, the long illness of another son and anti-Semitic rallies in the streets. Nevertheless, Pissarro still shows in his letters to family and friends a great joy and appreciation for the beauty of his surroundings (Shike 295). Pissarro used his art to transcend the hatred and pain around him (House 142). Many speculate that Pissarro used his urban series as a commodity to make money, but one might also just as well propose that they were an expression of his ongoing search for unity in his work (House 81). There has been much conjecture surrounding Pissarro’s Parisian city series containing; The Gare Saint-Lazare, The Boulevard Montemartre, The Avenue de l’Opéra, The Tuileries Gardens, The Square du Vert-Galant, The Pont Neuf and Quai Voltaire. What was the significance of the series paintings? Did Pissarro make a commodity of his art?

Pissarro created his urban series for many reasons. The motivation most critics seem to think of is the intention of his art dealer; to make money. Pissarro’s paintings of the city sold quite quickly and made him more comfortable financially than he had ever been (House 142). Also before anyone can criticize Pissarro for painting canvases of commercial value they must also take into consideration the emergence of independence from salons and art dealers, both relatively new concepts that artists were forced to latch on to for survival. It also becomes clear after reading anything about Pissarro that his anarchism would have made it difficult for him to live with himself if he was only doing it for the money. He had a fervent dislike of capitalists, bankers especially (Shike 232). It’s also true that he had reached his sixties and had a large family to take care of; one can be certain this was something he thought of often due to an indisputable love of his family. Pissarro was very excited about his new venture into urban painting, not so much about the motif and subject of the paintings but the effect of the weather and light on the city. He was astonished by the beauty that sunlight or rain could bring out on old grey roofs and dirty smokestacks (House 88). The unity involved in painting one scene under the influence of different elements was just what Pissarro loved. That special atmosphere the city could harness and reflect was something he knew he could transfer onto the canvas.

When looking at all of the series paintings it is quite simple to tell that they are all part of the same series. All are very distinctly Pissarro. After very little study, his almost trademarked speckled crosshatch style becomes distinctly recognizable. Pissarro has very excellent command of perspective, depth, composition, light and dark, and most of all color. Even paintings of grey, fog-covered days feel vibrant and alive, something one might wish was true of real life. Pissarro used an even and consistent unified tone throughout his series. He played with changing light and weather conditions to make his scenes change greatly no matter how many times he would paint the same bridge or boulevard (House 142). To enhance the weather effects he thinned out his whites to make them more transparent, to give them purer hues It gave his new paintings a different look that critics noticed (Shike 294). Most of the paintings in the series were painted from indoors due to Pissarro’s increasing difficulties with his eyes and infections (Shike 293). An element in Pissarro’s cityscapes that differs from Monet’s or Caillebotte’s is that although he was painting from indoors, he would never show a window frame or curtain. There are no allusions to Pissarro himself, all attention is on the scene ahead. The viewer is not a participant in the painting, but an observer from afar (Pissarro xxv). However distant from the scene the viewer is, the space does not detract from the fact that no detail is overlooked in a Pissarro city scene. Where Monet would sometimes dissolve the figures in curving strokes, Pissarro makes every person painted a caricature with definitive shape and style (Pissarro xxii). Pissarro believed working from memory in the studio cleaned up the image and made it into something he felt rather than something he saw. He used himself as an artistic filter of reality (House 81). Pissarro’s skill as a painter is not the question here, however; the meaning and depth of these arguably commodified urban landscapes are.

In the urban series paintings it becomes simple to grasp what a city is all about. Despite it being over a hundred years since they were painted, the viewer is still very aware of the same feelings Pissarro sent to us through time via his work. His street scenes bustling with people really impress upon the viewer the movement that a busy city street can contain, especially in Boulevard Montmartre: Shrove Tuesday (O’Donovan 19). The street is filled to the brim with people. Pissarro wasn’t just concerned with content however; he would always seek a harmony between the sky, earth and water before starting any painting, taking the pieces and putting them together as a whole (Pissarro xlix). Pissarro saw the city as an example of injustice & the evils of the modern capitalist world. His series paintings had high vantage points, depersonalizing the city. Watching the city from on high is not a neutral view. It brings to mind topographical maps of the time that an invading army would put to use for their nefarious needs. The perspective also represents and opposing concept, postcards popular at the time were of a similar position. They were used to showboat the new city and its glamorous new boulevards. Pissarro's previous paintings of rural peasants were close-up and very personal, whereas his new paintings of the city were far away and impersonal. Distanced, not integrated as he was in the rural landscapes (House 82, 84) This perspective helps to illustrate Pissarro’s feelings about the city.
One might ask, “where are Pissarro’s politics?” as he assembles these pretty harmonious postcard-like images. Where is the Jewish Anarchist? The only hint at Pissarro’s politics in his foray into urban painting was his choice of locations. One must first note the recent Haussmannization of Paris and take that into consideration. The locales chosen by Pissarro all correspond to important parts of Old Paris. The Avenue de l’Opera is built over the remains of the Butte des Moulins, a tightly packed anarchistic community that was rolled over by the march of progress. His paintings of the view over the Tuileries Gardens show an area that was once the site of ruins which symbolized the government’s suppression over the commune (House 141). The figures in the Paris paintings are on their way somewhere else, none of them are caught in the moment. None are enjoying the beauty of the scene around them, they are in a capitalist system, off to spend or make money, like most modern cities (Pissarro xxix). Pissarro had also recently completed a series of drawings entitled Les Turpitudes sociales which were biting political commentary of the Anarchist sort, mostly pictures involving crowds of exploited people, or the exploiting people in cities, coincidentally (Shike 237). Another important point to draw attention to is the lack of representation of the Eiffel Tower and the Notre de Dame de Paris, important Paris landmarks that would have easily bolstered sales. Pissarro understood the Eiffel Tower as a capitalist symbol and the Notre Dame would be a symbol of Catholicism of which he was also no great supporter (Pissarro xxxv). His politics are very subtle in his paintings but present elsewhere and lurking just beneath the surface. With background information included it is difficult to think of the urban series as mere money makers.

Was Pissarro’s Paris series commodified? In a way, yes. In the same way that all art can become commercialized and for sale. Many artists and other creative people suffer the same problem today. Did Pissarro paint the urban series just for the money? It is unlikely that any amount of research could come up with evidence to support that statement. It is true that Pissarro was able to make enough money before he died to support his family and leave them with an inheritance, but one can easily see he painted the Paris city series for the love of his art. Pissarro was devoted to the sensations he could communicate with paint and had finally reached a point in his life where he thought unity would be possible to achieve. Adding around three hundred urban scenes to balance out a lifetime of rural scenes appears to be an attempt at that unity, if nothing else. In Pissarro’s own words about his career, “I began to understand my sensations, to know what I wanted, at around the age of forty - but only vaguely; at fifty, that is in 1880, I formulated the idea of unity, without being able to render it; at sixty, I am beginning to see the possibility of rendering it” (House 81).

Bibliography

1) Brettell, Richard R. & Pissarro, Joachim (1992) The Impressionist and the City : Pissarro’s Series Paintings, York University Press, New Haven and London.

4) House, John (1993). Anarchist or Esthete? Pissarro in the City, Art in America, 11/93, Vol. 81 Issue 11, p 80, 13p.

5) O’Donovan, Leo J. (1993). The City as a Stage for Time: Camille Pissarro’s Serial Cityscapes, America; 4/24/93, Vol. 168 Issue 14, p18, 5p.

6) Shikes, Ralph E. & Harper, Paula (1980). Pissarro: His Life and Work, Horizon Press – New York.

to look at paintings I recommend the first book on the list there in the Bishop's library, but here are soem links for those not as interested:

http://ifg.les.gares.free.fr/galerie/peinture/peinture02.htm = The Gare Saint Lazare

http://www.abcgallery.com/P/pissaro/pissaro-2.html = Boulevard Montmartre, Tuileries Gardens, Pont Neuf

http://cyrano.blog.lemonde.fr/photos/uncategorized/pissarro_1.jpg = Avenue de l’Opera

http://www.oceansbridge.com/paintings/artists/p/Pissarro_Camille_big_collection/big/Square_du_Vert-Galant_Sunny_Morning__1902.jpg = Square de Vert Galant

This just in: I got a 34 out of 40 (85%) on this essay, which according to my prof, is an A. Zoom!
Looks like I should be getting into my program in September. Doot doot dooday!

Dead Presidents

2006-04-20T13:22:00.000-06:00

I found these quotes today and i found them to be failry uplifting, well the "press on" one i liked a lot.
It's funny to think that presidents and polititians in general used to be intelligent and had words of wisdom and everything they said wasn't a "you might be a redneck if. . ." joke.

What a world, what world.

"We do not need more intellectual power, we need more moral power. We do not need more knowledge, we need more character. We do not need more government, we need more culture. We do not need more law, we need more religion. We do not need more of the things that are seen, we need more of the things that are unseen. If the foundation be firm, the foundation will stand."

"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "press on" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."

"Collecting more taxes than absolutely necessary is legalized robbery."

"I have noticed that nothing I never said ever did me any harm."

Calvin Coolidge

I bet Calvin Coolidge was never almost assassinated by a pretzel.

Our home on Native Land

2006-04-20T11:06:00.000-06:00

This kind of crap really bothers me. Their whole country was stolen and most of them were executed and the governement can't move their subdivision somehwere else? Give me a break.

I get so mad whenever I think about this whole issue.

http://www.cbc.ca/story/news/national/2006/04/20/caledonia-protest060420.html

http://www.canada.com/globaltv/national/story.html?id=aa6ae9d0-7735-4bca-9c7e-490790a4ba2a

The CBC story is the best one, with in depth thingers so you can read more about it.

DEATH RAY

2006-04-12T10:44:00.000-06:00

As most of you know, Samuel L. Janzen has built or is building a badass trebuchet. I suggest to him that when he's finished he build one of these:

http://solardeathray.com/index.html

and if that proves to be too difficult, perhaps the gravity death log would be better.

ROCK AND ROLL.

p.s. rock for recycling, Friday at Bishops, be there to rock and roll.

Tattoo?

2006-04-06T19:27:00.000-06:00

I'm getting into tattoo styles and this sort of popped out. I may have posted this already as it's old, but I don't think I did.

Sketch dump

2006-04-06T19:25:00.000-06:00

I've been sketching a little more at off moments at work when my pooter crashes, or on break, lunch waiting for Rena to get ready i nthe morning and i felt like posting the lot of them. Here you go, enjoy!

Classic. I love this poster. I also learned that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (one) was one of the highest grossing independent films of all time. Pretty rad eh?

This is a robot I sort of got the idea from from a robot o nthe internet. Can't remember where. The gun is kind of sucky but the cheese sign is pretty gnarly.

I did these two in a meeting last week. Doodling totally helps me to pay attention to people talking. If I don't occupy part of my brain the whole thing just wanders off. Basically doddling helps me pay attention.

This is sort of creepy. I think I may have posted this one before. I forget.

Ahh. . blue moon. Likeness is not so good but the idea of Mr. Walken being a robot isn't so odd.

This is Curtis' idea of a good tattoo, only I mixed it up it should be Name Brand Whisky. If I were todo it again I'd make the banners and font bigger.

Zoot zoot!

Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz Buzz

2006-04-06T13:02:00.000-06:00

I'm jealous of people who can drink coffee and it makes the mfeel better and satisfied and puts them i na better modd etc. When I drink coffee it usually kind of hurts my stomach and makes me feel liek I have to poop, but I don't. Unless it's at night or with food. Then it's jsut kind of a drink, nothing special. Also I only really can enjoy coffee if it's in a mug. No paper cups or styrofoam, rolled up or not.
I guess I have issues.
People at work are so addicted to coffee it's wacky. They're coo coo for coffee puffs. They make me think I need coffee. Then i have soem and then my stomach feels bad and my brain cuts out.

So, basically what i'm getting at here is that I'm bored enough to make an entry about coffee.

liek i said, Issues.

p.s. rock for rcycling is postponed to April 14 (good friday) I hope that's not an issue for anyone. I'm pretty sure it isn't for me.

I've also been "myspace networking" and adding indie canadian bands and labels to our page. Why? I'm not really sure, it just seems sort of productive. AND a girl we don't know added herself as a friend to us. Go us!

Rock and Roll.

p.s. again I direct you to www.brandonbird.com this is funny stuff that really can't be missed.

I gots mad blog drops B!

2006-04-06T08:14:00.000-06:00

Ok, Jeff Rowland is kind of one of my heros. Here's a possible explanation why. (we are similar in some ways? Liek this one.)

Quote,

"When you get to be a certain age, everything that is cool seems to be a lot of nonsensical, idiotic jibberish. The music that blares from the pimp rides makes no sense; it all sounds like a man with severe autism halfheartedly explaining human sexuality to a parrot, while in the background a dangerously unqualified Caribbean contractor rhythmically installs an automatic garage door opener. Bollocks.Fortunately Cowboy-Poets are shielded from the slow decay of rad. We make the rad, we plant the seeds of fresh. Terrible is not the new awesome, not at all. Wack it the new dope."
- Jeff Rowland
www.wigu.com/overcompensating

Possible painting

2006-04-06T08:07:00.000-06:00

I doodled this out at work awhile back and i like it so much that i think this may be my first painting when I have time to paint. It's my wifey if she were a cartoon! Holy Smokes!

My First University Essay

2006-04-05T11:26:00.000-06:00

Who wants to learn about sleep deprivation? I bet YOU DO!

Abstract

This essay will pose and attempt to answer the questions; how detrimental can lack of sleep be for an individual? How does sleep deprivation affect a person’s mental abilities? I will argue that the loss of sleep over time does have a negative effect on one’s mental abilities. Through the analysis of experimentation and case studies, this essay will show that loss of sleep in nearly any amount is detrimental to an individual’s mental well being. Facts state that concentrated effort can improve results, but only for brief periods. Research shows that loss of sleep over time does have a negative effect on mental abilities.

C. Brandon

The Effects of Sleep Loss Over Time

Introduction

Background In this essay I will cover the topic of sleep deprivation and its effects on mental abilities. I was inspired to choose this topic due to a history of negative personal experience with lack of sleep. The experiences have ranged from feeling a little surly to feeling an intense frustration at an inability to think straight. I also thought that since I am just beginning my university career I should find out what I am up against. This area of research should be of interest to all people since everyone sleeps and it seems as though there aren’t many people who get all the sleep they need all the time. It is important to understand if and how lack of sleep can affect you, and what you can do about it. This essay will pose and attempt to answer the questions; how detrimental can lack of sleep be for an individual? How does sleep deprivation affect a person’s mental abilities?

Purpose It is very likely that everyone has experienced sleep deprivation at some time, whether they are aware of it or not. Staying up late cramming for exams, being awoken by your surprisingly loud baby, your bottle breaking dance music loving neighbors or just having a good time with friends - all can result in the loss of precious sleep. The consequences of a sleep deficit are usually quite small but can easily add up over the course of a week, or weeks, and can sometimes cause unwelcome effects. The loss of sleep over an extended period can be quite damaging and, based on some experiments on rats, can lead to death. Rechtschaffen (1965; cited in Coren, 1996, p 55). Aside from the grave consequences, the loss of sleep over time will have negative effects on an individual’s mental abilities such as impede response time, cognitive acuity and memory retrieval. Despite what Thomas Edison thought of sleep, “. . . loss of time, vitality, and opportunities,” sleep is indispensable to our health and well being.

Argument

The causes of sleep loss are as common as the effects that it, in turn, can cause. In many ways they are a big part of modern living in the capitalist countries with the continually harried pace of 21st century life. The struggle to be more productive with the meager 24 hours allotted to us in a day, cramming in those few extra pages of study and a couple of extra quotas before bed. It can even be for more innocent reasons as well, for instance; many people lose their precious sleep to caffeine drank too near to bedtime. Maybe psychologists are doing experiments on you? Perhaps a young couple’s cranky temperament and sullen expressions stem from their new bundle of joy that they struggle to call a miracle at 5am. Of course there are more uncontrollable issues and disorders that some unfortunate individuals struggle with that cause their lack of sleep. Sleep apnea is the inability to properly breathe while sleeping which can be a major part of interrupted slumber. Sleep walking, apart from being dangerous, can easily disturb a person’s rest. Other factors include narcolepsy which is intense sleepiness during the day with partial and total paralysis, night terrors that as yet no one knows the cause, and sleeping pills which can cause insomnia Lugaresi (1968; cited in Dement, 1972, 73 – 81). These are all things that over time can begin to cause symptoms of sleep deprivation in a person.

“Sleep Deprivation Influences Some but Not All Process of Supervisory Attention” by J.R Jennings et al, was an experimental study on one night of sleep deprivation and tests on supervisory attention the following day. There were ten men and ten women with a mean age of twenty-two. A twelve hour day of testing was carried out after an ordinary night’s sleep for control and then another twelve hour day of testing followed a night with no sleep at all a week later.

The testing consisted of arrows appearing on a computer screen of different size, colours and direction. The subjects were required to categorize the arrows by corresponding keys on the keyboard as quickly and accurately as possible.

The conclusions of the study were that a single night of sleep deprivation did not affect the subject’s ability to complete the tests given, but it did effect the speed they were able to complete the tasks. The sleep deprived subjects were considerably slower in their reaction time. (See Table 1 in appendix) I think it would have been interesting to see the study extended for at least a second day to see if results were more noticeable. Physical testing, surveys on mood and tests on decision making abilities could also have been administered as the researchers already had subjects in a sleep deprived state.

“One Night of Total Sleep Deprivation Impairs Implicit Learning in the Serial Reaction Task, but Not the Behavioral Expression of Knowledge” by Herbert Heuer & Wolfhard Klein, was an experimental study on total sleep deprivation of one night on learning. It included 18 male participants with a mean age of 24.9 years old. 12 were deprived of sleep in the lab and 6 were a control group who slept normally at home. They were all given several learning tests and were tested immediately and then again after a night with no sleep. The sleep deprived group scored lower than the control group on the tests given. Heuer & Klein believe this is mainly due to the inability of the sleep deprived group to stay motivated in their task. They also state that although the experimental group scored lower than the control group, the sleep deprivation did not affect their ability to remember what they had learned, which is interesting.

This study was very difficult to comprehend and could have done with a better layout of facts and conclusions as they were unclear. Also the control group was allowed to go home for sleep which does not seem like a particularly good way to impose guidelines and control on the control group.

“The Impact of Sleep Deprivation of Decision Making” by Yvonne Harrison & James Horne was a non-experimental study on several dozen different studies on sleep deprivation that focuses mainly on how sleep deprivation impairs innovation, dealing with the unexpected, making new plans, battling distraction and communication abilities. To summarize, it states that a sleep deprived person is able to function quite well doing complex, rule based tasks they know well as long as they are able to take a little more time to do them. The tasks also must be interesting and if nothing unexpected crops up they score fairly normally. If something unexpected does happen they are less likely to think of a new way around it or make the proper decision to solve that new problem. The sleep deprived person is very likely to soldier on with an inappropriate action because they know it well and have done it before instead of improving their tactics and solving the problem with a new action. The sleep deprived person has a notable lack of focused attention. In essence; logical deduction is fairly easy with the compensation of effort but innovative thinking is likely to be very difficult.

When a person cuts back on sleep for whatever reason, perhaps one of the reasons mentioned earlier, that act of cutting back accumulates into sleep debt. For instance if you need 8 hours of sleep a night and are only getting 6 hours every night for a week because of work or school (for example), your total sleep debt over 5 days is 10 hours of sleep in debt. That’s just a small simple example. Depending on lifestyle variables like shift work, school assignments etc., people can build up a much larger sleep debt and are unaware of the consequences. Stanley Coren outlines an exercise that he had hoped would increase his productivity at the expense of a little sleep. Over the course of a few weeks Coren cut back his sleep by a half hour each night eventually ending up at 5 hours a night. During those few weeks he had hoped he would do extra research and spend extra time writing books. In reality he ended up watching more TV, taking more time getting ready in the morning, making terrible mistakes in research notes and trying to publish sub-par papers. Ultimately he quit the experiment on himself when he found himself falling asleep at the wheel of his car. Coren (1996).

To demonstrate the impaired abilities of the sleep deprived look at Figure 2 in the appendix from the Jennings experiment, you’ll notice that the response time of the sleep deprived subjects are much slower than the control group. Granted the subjects still answered about as many questions right as the control group but significantly slower. Jennings et al (2003). Think about how important it is for someone to have quick reaction time if they are performing surgery or even the usually simple task of driving a car. Then think about how many emergency room doctors that don’t get enough sleep because of understaffed hospitals. The doctors are probably fine until a patient comes in with a problem they have never dealt with before. Sleep deprivation impairs the ability to form a strategy to cope with new stimulus Jennings et al (2003). In Heuer and Klein’s experiment the sleep deprived subjects scored a little faster than the control group before the night of deprivation, then after a night of no sleep that score changes significantly. The sleep deprived group scores considerably slower than the control group. (see appendix Fig. 1) Both of these experiments are performed after only one night of deprivation.

In studies of military simulations based on sleep deprivation, the officers had little trouble carrying out tracking and interception procedures for extended periods due to the high level of interest. The officers compensated with more effort because they were interested in the task and were able to perform normally. On the other hand, when those same officers were asked to plan ahead and do a cost benefit analysis on those plans, the sleep deprivation showed itself to be highly detrimental. The officers were unable to focus their attention long enough due to lack of interest. Wilkinson (1964, cited by Harrison & Horne, 2000).

The memory is also affected by a lack of sleep. In my experience with staying up all night it can be very difficult to remember when certain events took place over the course of the sleep deprived days. Participants in a study by Morris, Williams & Lubin (1960) could not remember when they had eaten certain meals but were easily able to remember what it was they had eaten. Harrison & Horne (2000). When your sleep debt stacks up it can negatively affect nearly all aspects of your mental abilities, response time, memory, decision making and concentration.

After seeing the effects of cumulative sleep loss on experimental test subjects for only a couple of nights, it is interesting to find out what effects no sleep at all can have on a person for and extended period. The following two case studies are found in greater detail in “Sleep Theives,” Coren p. 48 – 55 (1996). One example of extreme sleep deprivation was a man named Peter Tripp who was a New York radio show host who agreed to stay awake for two hundred hours straight (eight days) for charity. Tripp was observed for the entire 200 hour period and tested by various experts to determine his well being. After a few days he became quite irrational and could not focus for any reasonable length of time. After four days he was unable to recite the alphabet. As his time without sleep progressed, Tripp would hallucinate seeing bugs and spiders where there were none and became very paranoid and unable to distinguish between reality and his delusions. Oddly enough, when he performed his daily three hour radio show he was able to concentrate enough to complete his show without problems. At the end of his “experiment” Tripp slept for more than 12 hours and awoke to be the same person he had been before his deprivation, suffering no ill effects.

The other case study offered by Coren is one of Randy Gardner. Gardner was a 17 year old boy who decided to not sleep for eleven days (264 hours) for a science fair project and to attempt to get in to the Guinness Book of World Records. Negative effects began to show themselves after the second day without sleep; difficulty focusing his eyes and trouble identifying objects by touch. The effects grew more severe as time went on; moodiness, poor physical coordination, verbal difficulty, memory lapses, inability to concentrate, strange physical sensations, hallucinations and delusional paranoia. These effects all happened before day five, which in itself is fairly alarming. Gardner’s speech after day six began to slur and he would have difficulty finishing sentences and rarely would. His eyes also began to drift independently from one another and he developed a slight heart murmur that went away after he began sleeping again. After the 264 hours had ended Gardner slept for over 14 hours and was fine the next day. He suffered no ill effects much like Tripp. Coren (1996) Unfortunately, neither of these extreme case studies was a real psychological experiment and I was unable to find one of the same intensity so these case studies remain just that, case studies and nothing more. However, these studies do stand to support the statement that the loss of sleep over time does impede response time, cognitive acuity and memory retrieval. The similarities between the two suggest that you or I would fare much the same as Mr. Tripp and Mr. Gardner.

Conclusion

After thoroughly researching the matter of sleep deprivation, one finds it safe to say that loss of sleep in nearly any amount is detrimental to an individual’s mental well being. Whether it be writing an essay, directing air traffic, dealing with stress or even picking out home décor with a spouse, the amount of sleep experienced in the nights previous to the aforementioned activities will affect how one will react to any number of stimuli. The question is how much, and in what way? Research proves that in nearly all cases not having enough sleep will cause a person or animal to react in a way that is not quite up to par with a peer who has had enough sleep. A concentrated effort can improve results, but only for brief periods on a task the subject knows well or finds very interesting. Wilkinson (1992, cited by Harrison 2000, 237). This compensation can only last for so long, however, and when the novelty wears off or the situation changes too drastically for a person to cope with in a sleep deprived state, poor results ultimately occur. Harrison & Horne (2000). I know that in my personal experience a lack of sleep has always been a detriment to whatever I was trying to do. Essays are messy and poorly structured when I read them the next morning, driving is scary because I don’t notice things as quickly as I should, and paying attention to anything is a chore. As it stands, I believe the research shows that loss of sleep over time does have a negative effect on mental abilities. Thomas Dekker, a 16th century Elizabethan dramatist, summed the issue of sleep up nicely when he said, “[Sleep is] the golden chain that ties health & our bodies together.”

References

Coren, Stanley (1996). Sleep Theives. New York, New York: Free Press
Paperbacks.

Dement, William (1972). Some Must Watch While Some Must Sleep.
Stanford California: Stanford Alumni Association.

Harrison, Yvonne & Horne, James (2000). The Impact of Sleep Deprivation
of Decision Making. Journal of Experimental Psychology: Applied, Vol. 6, No. 3, 236 – 249.

Heuer, Herbert & Klein, Wolfhard (2003). One Night of Total Sleep
Deprivation Impairs Implicit Learning in the Serial Reaction Task, but Not the Behavioral Expression of Knowledge. Neuropsychology, Vol. 17, No. 3, 507 – 516.

Jennings, J.R, Monk, T.H. van der Molen, M.W (2003). Sleep Deprivation
Influences Some but Not All Process of Supervisory Attention. Psychological Science, Vol. 14, No. 5, 473 – 479.

This took me a long time to write and was hard! I hope to get at least a B.
UPDATE: I GOT A 90.5% ON THIS ESSAY. HELLS YES.

Rock and roll! (sleep well. . .OR DIE LIKE RATS IN A MEAN EXPERIMENT!)

New Best artist of all time

2006-04-05T09:03:00.000-06:00

Dude has a painting of the last supper with James Woods and Robocop. I don't think I need much more of a description aside from maybe this.

www.brandonbird.com

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN.

Wood block carvingZOOT ZOOT

2006-04-03T11:42:00.000-06:00

So this is my first one. I like the sketch better than the finished product but it's still ok. (sketch not shown) I'm using this one for my second project as well with heavy modifications. I'll post a picture of it sometime in the future after I finish doing it.

Wood carving is hard. The wood from school is all dry and chips like crazy.

Wood block carving

2006-04-03T11:39:00.000-06:00

Hola, this is part two of my first printmaking assignment. I like this one better.

It's a little over inked and not perfect but it's pretty neat. Looks better in person.

B-634 on his own hat!

2006-04-03T11:34:00.000-06:00

I made Curtis this rad hat for Christmas. It was terrifying to make. You can't erase markers on hats and you can't do it in pencil first. Thankfully i didn't make any mistakes. Maybe in the future I'll make more.

Gherkin

2006-03-31T15:23:00.000-06:00

This is a real building that's been "erected" in London recently.

I don't think I have to say much more about it.

Happy Weekend, ROCK AND ROLL!

News update

2006-03-23T08:52:00.000-06:00

Well the 3 year anniversary show went quite well, I gave away 4 or 5 maybe 6 CD’s 4 tshirts, a glow in the dark sticker sheet and the grand prize of a framed and autographed Lt. Uhura (Nichelle Nichols 8 X 10 glossy photo went to Ben Elliot AKA DJ Cashton from Musical AD&D (Tuesday nights 9 to 10 maybe 11)
In other news I got 100% on my psych midterm. Ra ra ra! First 100% of any real significance ever.
Also I left a bazooka book in the sub building to be found and someone found it and emailed me and said it was strangely engrossing and called them vignettes. I didn’t know wehat that meant so I looked it up and I quite like it as a description. More appropriate than poems, because most of them really aren’t poems. Here’s the def for those of you who, like me, didn’t know what that meant.

Vignette:
A decorative design placed at the beginning or end of a book or chapter of a book or along the border of a page.
An unbordered picture, often a portrait, that shades off into the surrounding color at the edges.

A short, usually descriptive literary sketch.
A short scene or incident, as from a movie.
tr.v. vi·gnet·ted, vi·gnet·ting, vi·gnettes
To soften the edges of (a picture) in vignette style.
To describe in a brief way.

[French, from Old French, diminutive of vigne, vine (from the use of vine tendrils in decorative borders). See vine.]

Rock and roll folks!

THREE YEARS = SEXY PARTY

2006-03-21T10:05:00.000-06:00

The Three Years of Madness Culmination Special!

156 weeks of delightfully offbeat wackiness, when critics were asked to describe bazooka radio in 3 words they were heard to say,

“Trunk Loada Guns!”
- Oprah

“It’s not butter”
- Fabio

Weiners Weiners Weiners!”
-Charles Dickens

“It be itchy”
-Time Magazine

“Extra Cheese, please”
- Captain Kangaroo

That’s right this Wednesday will be the 3 year anniversary of Bazooka Radio, the show so tune in! I have fabulous prizes to give away. I cleaned out the office last night and have come up with some pretty rad things.

Back-issues of Vice magazine
Back issues of Revolver Magazine
CJMQ T-Shirts (black, red, blue, green, white, even in child sizes)
Several Roadrunner United Cd’s
Satanic Surfer’s – Taste the Poison
The Mars Volta LIVE ALBUM
Bucky O’Hare
A Ninja Turtles Poster
Much More!

As well as the grand prize of. . . .

AN AUTOGRAPHED PICTURE OF NICHELLE NICHOLS (LT. UHURA FROM OLD STAR TREK) SIGNED IN PERSON AT THE 1992 SASKATOON STAR TREK CONVENTION.

Make sure to tune in tomorrow night at 8pm until 10 pm eastern time(? Quebec) to win these fantastical prizes!

www.ubishops.ca/cjmq listen live online, or if you’re in the area, CJMQ 88.9 fm, I GUARANTEE IT'LL BE AS WACKY AS A THREE'S COMPANY, A-TEAM CROSSOVER EPISODE.

ROCK AND ROLL!

Sleep is Wrong(?)

2006-03-16T12:01:00.000-06:00

There is a band called "Sleepytime Gorilla Museum" and I have chaced upon a song called Sleep is Wrong and it's totally insane. I think this is the kind of music I would make if I was left alone for several decades entirely alone with some weird instruments and recording equipment.

It's probably the most interesting thing I've heard in a long time. Absolutely bizarre.

it seems like the sort of thing you should try to find yourself. No links.

Rock out (in a confusing manner for at least 6 minutes)

myspace validation

2006-03-10T09:27:00.000-06:00

Some cool dude or dudette made this picture (animated gif):

It is spectacular. It's a mash-up of Captain Picard in the holodeck shooting a tommy gun from First Contact (at a borg, originally) and Chunk from Goonies doing the truffle shuffle with soem special effects.

Coolest thing ever.

ROCK IT!

2006-03-10T07:20:00.000-06:00

10 minute sketch at he end of printmaking class after the disapointing Humanities festival (eventhough it had free cheese and free beer) How did it go wrong then you ask? i really don't know. But I know this dude it rockin it.

REMIX

2006-03-10T07:08:00.000-06:00

The dude over at Sticks and Stones put up a no words version of one of his comics and asked people to re-do it. Most were pretty funny. I did this baby up at the end of the day and was just feeling plain loopy. It made me chuckle, so maybe you too.

Hugs and kisses,

Chris

HO PHAM DANG!

2006-03-09T11:19:00.000-06:00

There are all kinds of super great things on the internet today. HECKDOODLE!

http://stereotypist.livejournal.com/40160.html#cutid1

This is the first frame, but if you click through o nthe link you can read the whole thing. I suggest you do since it's flippin cool.

Beer related joke

2006-03-09T10:25:00.000-06:00

I lifted this off of the Pocket Dwellers website blog. You should check em out. Funky, soul, jazz hip hop with full on band, horns the whole deal. Playing at Bishop's this Friday and probably elsewhere i tnhe area. Keep yer eyes open.

Beer Convention. Funny but real
At a world brewing convention in the States, the CEOs of various brewing organizations retired to the bar at the end of each day's conference.

Bruce, CEO of Fosters, shouted to the Barman: "In 'Strylya, we make the best bladdy beer in the world, so pour me a bladdy Fosters, mate."

Bob, CEO of Budweiser, calls out next: "In the States, we brew the finest beers of the world, and I make the king of them all, gimme a Bud."

Hans steps up next: "In Germany ve invented das beer, ferdamt. Give me ein Becks, ya ist der real King of beers, danke."

Paddy, CEO of Guinness, steps forward: "Barman, would ya give me a diet coke with ice and lemon? Tanks."

The others stare at him in stunned silence, amazement written all over their faces.Eventually Bruce asks: "Are you not going to have a Guinness, Pat?"

Paddy replies "Well, if you fookin' pansies aren't drinkin', then neither am I!"

Sticks and Stones

2006-03-09T09:44:00.000-06:00

So this is a new webcomic I discovered because of Dinosaur Comics Awesome Dude: Ryan North ( www.qwantz.com ) It's super funny. Here is an exaple to whet your appetite for laffs.

http://www.sticksandstonescomic.com/index.html

Rock and roll folks!

bazooka Comix NUMBER ONE

2006-03-07T19:00:00.000-06:00

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaalright! Check it out. The first comic by Curtis and I that wil hopefully be a regular occurance here on the ole blog-dog and in the Campus at Bishop's, so pick up the next issue of the Campus on March 16th or round then for this in print form.

And here's a bonus frame that the newspaper folks don't get to see unless they're super internet savvy like you guys.

Curtis looks kind of anime, that's an accident. I just wanted him to look really excited, i guess anime people just look really excited all the time. Axel also sort of looks more like Willy nelson, but I like that.

We even have the next issue's comic done already! BELIEEEEEEEEEEE DAT!

ROck out!

WARNING!

2006-03-06T09:04:00.000-06:00

This is important stuff.

Subject: FW: Scam
Generally, I hate the warnings that get sent around but I have to admit
that this one is important.
Please protect everyone you know by sending this to your entire email
list.

If someone comes to your front door and says they are conducting a
survey and asks you to show them your bum, DO NOT show them your bum.

This is a scam.
They only want to see your bum.

I wish I'd got this yesterday, I feel so stupid and cheap.

Sloth = Awesome

2006-03-03T08:36:00.001-06:00